<p>One of the most rewarding aspects of running this site is when random people email me information about badass motherfuckers I've never heard of before.&nbsp; One such badass is <a href="http://evilboris.sonic-cult.net/346/" target="blank">Segata Sanshiro</a>, a Judo master who dedicated his life to honing his body and mind through the disciplines of martial arts and x-treme ballz-out video gaming.</p>
<p>Now the Sega Saturn never made much of a splash here in the States, but it found quite a following in Japan, a fact that is largely attributed to the Segata Sanshiro advertising campaign which ran from 1997 through 1998.&nbsp; From what I've read, his name apparently sounds like "Sega Saturn Shiro!", where "shiro" in Japanese is the imperative form of the verb "to play".&nbsp; But who cares.&nbsp; The point is that this guy lived in the mountains of Japan training eight hours a day on an oversized Sega Saturn, coming down to civilization every so often to beat the holy living crap out of people who weren't playing SEGA video games.&nbsp; He was an unstoppable enforcer of video game justice.</p>
<p>But before you go accusing me of "selling out to the man" and asking me what can possibly be badassed about an out-dated corporate mascot, you must first <a href="http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7185164641830774561&amp;q=segata+sanshiro" target="blank">watch the Segata Sanshiro compilation video. </a></p>
<p><a href="http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7185164641830774561&amp;q=segata+sanshiro" target="blank"> Do it now.</a></p>
<p>If you can watch that video and tell me it's not awesome, I'll tell you you're a liar.&nbsp; In addition to the clip of him flipping a guy for real and then the dude exploding into a giant mushroom cloud, a quick <a href="http://www.youtube.com/results?search=segata+sanshiro&amp;search_type=search_videos&amp;search=Search" target="blank">YouTube Search</a> for him turns up commercials of him <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnpoB_n3yRk&amp;search=segata%20sanshiro" target="blank">training in the mountains</a>, stopping a nuclear warhead with his bare hands, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jUzIxnbkpI&amp;search=segata%20sanshiro" target="blank">coaching the Japanese</a> national soccer team, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0F9AeyASLg&amp;search=segata%20sanshiro" target="blank">beating the shit out of some kids</a> who stupidly go off to play baseball instead of Sega, and breaking into a disco for the sole purpose of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obLniZJF1H0&amp;search=segata%20sanshiro" target="blank">flipping out like a ninja for no reason at all</a>.&nbsp; He fights zombies, gets busy with hot Asian babes and kicks a baseball 400+ feet through the air.&nbsp; He's awesome.</p>
<p>He also has an insane theme song, which gives him numerous badass points merely on principle alone.&nbsp; Somebody over at <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segata_Sanshiro" target="blank">Sanshiro's Wikipedia entry</a> translated the lyrics as such:</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>The solitary man who devoted his soul to the way of games<br /> Today, he comes again<br /> He will punish those who do not play seriously<br /> Their battered bodies will never forget!</p>
<p>[chorus] Segata Sanshiro, Segata Sanshiro! Sega Saturn... shiro!</p>
<p>They play tennis, sing karaoke, flirt around in clubs...<br /> Are there not more serious tasks to be done?<br /> Those who do not play maturely<br /> He questions them deep inside their hearts</p>
<p>Segata Sanshiro, Segata Sanshiro! Sega Saturn... shiro!</p>
<p>(voice of Segata)<br /> Youngsters... is there something in your life you are completely devoted to?&nbsp; Something you sink into so deep you put your life on the line?&nbsp; You must play Sega Saturn!&nbsp; Play... until your fingers break!&nbsp; Until your fingers break!</p>
<p>Even if they chase after sex, that petty pleasure<br /> Their soul will remain hollow<br /> Those who do not immerse themselves to the extreme in gaming<br /> Will find their bodies beaten harshly!</p>
<p>Segata Sanshiro, Segata Sanshiro! Sega Saturn... shiro!</p>
<p>The white clouds floating on the great blue sky<br /> And the boiling red bloodshed in fierce gaming<br /> Those who give up halfway through<br /> Their battered bodies will never forget!</p>
<p>Segata Sanshiro, Segata Sanshiro! Sega Saturn... shiro!<br /> Segata Sanshiro, Segata Sanshiro! Sega Saturn... shiro!</p>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>Only true badasses have theme songs detailing how badly they could kick your ass.&nbsp; He questions you deep inside your heart!&nbsp; You will find your body beaten harshly!</p>