Mother of two girls, a wife and a full-time employee, I need a place to tell my story. If you are reading this, I suspect my story is your story too.  When I was pregnant, I told everyone with great confidence that working and being a mom were a great match.  I was certain it was the best thing for my daughter.  How did I know? Personal experience, of course.  My mother worked and just look, I had somehow managed to survive, even thrive.  After dropping my 22 month old daughter off at school (aka daycare) for the first time, I was convinced.  Even on the second day (which any parent knows is the true test-as are the third, fourth and fifth days), my confidence was not shaken.  "She will become independent!" I thought. "I am not raising a child to satisfy my needs-to know that I am loved and needed."  

So what has changed? Nothing! Except I live with an enormous amount of Mommy guilt. I "should" all over myself several times a day.  "I should make a better meal", "I should make her a braid-even though I will be late", "I should read more", "I should teach them better manners", I should be more patient" and the list goes on!  I never realized that I had only experienced the virtues of the working mom from the child's perspective.  I never realized how much guilt my mother must have felt when she dropped me off at school, worked on a weekend or missed a class fieldtrip. 

This blog is the wise five year old me telling the tired 39 year old me: "get over it".  Don't "should" all over yourself!  Live in the now and love what is real--not perfect.  The greatest lessons I learned were not about braids or manners.  The greatest lessons my mother taught me were about committment, sacrifice and love.  That's the real stuff of life-not neatly-packed lunch boxes or Pottery Barn perfect rooms.  "Love yourself, so you can love your kids, lady." The rest will take care of itself. 