A mother, a wife and a full-time employee, I need a place to tell my story. If you are reading this, I suspect my story is your story too. When I was pregnant, I told everyone with great confidence that working and being a mom were a great match. I was certain it was the best thing for my daughter. How did I know? Personal experience, of course. My mother worked and just look, I had somehow managed to survive, even thrive. After dropping my 22 month old daughter off at school (aka daycare) for the first time, I was convinced. Even on the second day (which any parent knows is the true test-as are the third, fourth and fifth days), my confidence was not shaken. "She will become independent!" I thought. "I am not raising a child to satisfy my needs-to know that I am loved and needed."  She needs to know she is loved but she needs to be set free to pursue her future.

So, what has changed? Nothing! Except I live with an enormous amount of Mommy guilt. I "should" all over myself several times a day. "I should make a better meal", "I should make her a braid-even though I will be late", "I should read more", "I should teach them better manners", I should be more patient" and the list goes on! I never realized that I had only experienced the virtues of the working mom from the child's perspective. I never realized how much guilt my mother must have felt when she dropped me off at school, worked on a weekend or missed a class fieldtrip.

This blog is the wise, five year-old me telling the tired, 39 year-old me: "get over it". Don't "should" all over yourself! Live in the now and love what is real--not perfect. The greatest lessons I learned were not about braids or manners. The greatest lessons my mother taught me were about committment, sacrifice and love. That's the real stuff of life-not neatly-packed lunch boxes or Pottery Barn perfect rooms. "Love yourself, so you can love your kids, lady." The rest will take care of itself.