<a href="http://www.thenestmiami.com/blog/?attachment_id=149" rel="attachment wp-att-149"><img class="size-full wp-image-149 alignleft" alt="Holidaychooseyou" src="http://www.thenestmiami.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Holidaychooseyou.jpg" width="403" height="269" /></a>Halloween has come and gone, replaced by the reminder that the end of year holidays are around the corner. Many of us have turned our calendars and minds to Thanksgiving, Chanukah and Christmas, and all of the responsibilities, hopes, wishes and to do lists ahead of us.   I know that by continuing on this line of thought some of you are out of breath. You are haunted by visions of your haggard self, stressed out and angry with your little ones because they do not look how grandma or auntie or best friend wants them to look.  But I want to offer a different vision for your holidays.<!--more-->  I challenge you to do the holidays your way. Try not to make plans because of obligation or because of what others may think or because you're afraid of someone getting upset with you.  Take a moment right now to stop, breathe and create a list of what YOU really want to do this holiday season, and commit to doing at least one of those things that came to mind.

Little children do this naturally.  Some walk into a room, taking a moment to look around. Some just run right in. Some just stand by mommy a good while, but inevitably all children end up doing exactly what they want to do. They allow themselves to be present, aware and enjoy the here and now.  Watch them approach a new space then take a moment to think about the holidays and how you can explore them the way your little one explores their world.  How many times have you started the holiday season only to wake up January 5th to your first true moment of pause?  The holidays have just gone flying by and you just got through it trying to be someone that you're not?

Psychologically, there are many reasons why we do not stay present, but in my experience the number one reason is the fear of rejection, of not belonging.  I often remind myself and practice not making choices based on this fear.  It is difficult and it takes a moment, but most times the answer is in that place within me that knows exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.  If you are "supposed" to go to three houses on Thanksgiving instead just choose one this year.  If you do go to all three, make the conscious choice of doing the three in a way that makes sense to you and your little ones. It's hard when fear paralyzes us, but as parents we are lucky we have that little person who looks at us and by their mere existence asks us to be just slightly stronger.  Take a look into their eyes and wonder what kind of 2013 Holiday memories do I want to give my baby, my child, my teen.  Do we want to give them a holiday season where we are rushing, stressing and pretending to be someone else's idea of a family holiday?

It takes a lot of courage and discomfort to make these types of choices, for some choices hurt.  But if they are your truth, after the hurt, you will see that you made the right choice.  Maybe this year you don't want to take the challenge. You don't want to change anything for now.  That too is a choice.  Take time to observe yourself instead.  Consider when you've made a choice because you are scared of what others will think or feel. The first way to change is to become aware of what we do and then assess, inventory and choose what we will change next time.  Both choices are courageous!  I wish you well and let's go into these holidays aware and awake together.