(242,3,'2014-02-26 23:10:29','2014-02-26 23:10:29','By Lina Acosta Sandaal\r\n\r\nThe end of this month marks the two-year anniversary of the nest’s opening to the public.  It feels like I\'ve been at this project for much longer; I guess that\'s how we often feel when we are <a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/how-this-parenting-expert-often-feels-like-a-bad-parent/stress-and-parenting/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-238\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-238\" alt=\"stress and parenting\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/stress-and-parenting.jpg\" width=\"403\" height=\"538\" /></a>deeply engaged in a labor of love.  The nest is a dream, but it\'s also the cause of a lot of stress in my day-to-day life. Ironically, I find myself time and again talking with parents about how stress influences <i>their</i> day.  Stress makes me feel like less of a parent. As a supposed expert on children and parenting, when that thought flies into my mind it is shocking.  So I figured, I would soothe myself by giving it some contemplation, and share what I do when the world<!--more--> and my small business tells me in the form of stress that I am not doing a good job with life and my little ones.\r\n\r\n<b>1.</b>    <b>Get honest with someone.</b>\r\n\r\nStress can take me to situations where I am short with my kids, avoidant of my kids or worse screaming at my kids.  The truth is that it is just part of being human.  When our brain is in stress, anxiety and panic mode, it shifts to a primitive state of fight, flight, or freeze. Sometimes in parenting, screaming is our fight or flight or moment of insane freezing. My number one cure for dealing with this part of the stress response is to tell others my truth.  Let those close, trusted friends in and tell them what you did and how you handled it so then you can both have that human connection of “me too”.  A lot of times in parenting we suffer in silence, imagining that the other parents never lose it.  All parents lose it.  I have training and expertise and education, and I have my awful moments, so today in my blog, I am publicly sharing my truth. When this is done, I will feel better.\r\n\r\n<b>2.</b>    <b>Let your children off the hook.</b>\r\n\r\nIt is important to be able to tell the story of your stress to your children. More often than not, children believe that you are upset because of something that they did.   If we take a look at a situation with a child when we have a stressful day, the true problem is not the child, it is our day-to-day stress.  It is not being able to take a deep breath before we deal with the frustrated preschooler who is trying to put on their shoes before we get them out to the preschool.  Recently, I was overwhelmed with stress on a Saturday morning because one more time mommy was leaving home and my school-age daughter was not able to spend time with me.  She followed me around and I felt guilty and ended up being short with her before I left.  Driving home, I realized I needed to let her off the hook.  When I got home I was able to use the morning exchange to apologize and then explain our family’s values about goals and making sacrifices for them.  In this case, “I’m sorry we couldn’t spend time together and that I was mean, but mommy has a goal to help the nest prosper so a lot of families can flourish.”  My little one then said, “I understand mommy. I too want the nest to be successful (BTW short concise version; the real one took about 20 minutes).  It was a hard moment and a glorious moment at the same time.  Apologizing and letting her off the hook gave both of us clarity and happiness.\r\n\r\n<b>3.</b>    <b>Take care of yourself first.</b>\r\n\r\nOn airplanes you are instructed to put the oxygen mask on your face before you put it on the child. This is true with parenting too, and especially true when we\'re stressed.  As a working mother, part of my existence is feeling guilty that somehow someway I am not spending enough time with my kids.  A good friend of ours <a href=\"http://www.lulyb.com/\" target=\"_blank\">Luly B</a> speaks about how “balance is bull#$%t”.   She is right.   What we do every day is take moments to think about what needs to come first, second, and last. For me, in certain moments, the nest comes first and my children come second.  It never feels like balance because there is always something I could do with one or the other. I take care of myself by setting up systems so that they are okay and I am okay. My truth is that taking care of me means that sometimes I need to leave the children with my mom because I just need to sit and have a coffee alone, or I need to work three hours on our business plan, or I need to turn off the phone and play Legos with my kids. It is difficult and it does not feel good but it is necessary so that when I am with each part of my life that part gets 100% of my attention.\r\n\r\nSo this is my little recipe for how I deal with stress and how I deal with the day-to-day guilt of not being a good parent due to life, work and stress.  It is short, sweet, and never perfect.   But then again, perfection is overrated.','How This Parenting Expert Often Feels Like a Bad Parent','','inherit','open','open','','234-revision-v1','','','2014-02-26 23:10:29','2014-02-26 23:10:29','',234,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/234-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(240,3,'2014-02-26 20:58:08','2014-02-26 20:58:08','By Lina Acosta Sandaal\r\n\r\nThe end of this month marks the two-year anniversary of the nest’s opening to the public.  It feels like I\'ve been at this project for much longer; I guess that\'s how we often feel when we are <a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/how-this-parenting-expert-often-feels-like-a-bad-parent/stress-and-parenting/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-238\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-238\" alt=\"stress and parenting\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/stress-and-parenting.jpg\" width=\"403\" height=\"538\" /></a>deeply engaged in a labor of love.  The nest is a dream, but it\'s also the cause of a lot of stress in my day-to-day life. Ironically, I find myself time and again talking with parents about how stress influences <i>their</i> day.  Stress makes me feel like less of a parent. As a supposed expert on children and parenting, when that thought flies into my mind it is shocking.  So I figured, I would soothe myself by giving it some contemplation, and share what I do when the world<!--more--> and my small business tells me in the form of stress that I am not doing a good job with life and my little ones.\r\n\r\n<b>1.</b>    <b>Get honest with someone.</b>\r\n\r\nStress can take me to situations where I am short with my kids, avoidant of my kids or worse screaming at my kids.  The truth is that it is just part of being human.  When our brain is in stress, anxiety and panic mode, it shifts to a primitive state of fight, flight, or freeze. Sometimes in parenting, screaming is our fight or flight or moment of insane freezing. My number one cure for dealing with this part of the stress response is to tell others my truth.  Let those close, trusted friends in and tell them what you did and how you handled it so then you can both have that human connection of “me too”.  A lot of times in parenting we suffer in silence, imagining that the other parents never lose it.  All parents lose it.  I have training and expertise and education, and I have my awful moments, so today in my blog, I am publicly sharing my truth. When this is done, I will feel better.\r\n\r\n<b>2.</b>    <b>Let your children off the hook.</b>\r\n\r\nIt is important to be able to tell the story of your stress to your children. More often than not, children believe that you are upset because of something that they did.   If we take a look at a situation with a child when we have a stressful day, the true problem is not the child, it is our day-to-day stress.  It is not being able to take a deep breath before we deal with the frustrated preschooler who is trying to put on their shoes before we get them out to the preschool.  Recently, I was overwhelmed with stress on a Saturday morning because one more time mommy was leaving home and my school-age daughter was not able to spend time with me.  She followed me around and I felt guilty and ended up being short with her before I left.  Driving home, I realized I needed to let her off the hook.  When I got home I was able to use the morning exchange to apologize and then explain our family’s values about goals and making sacrifices for them.  In this case, “I’m sorry we couldn’t spend time together and that I was mean, but mommy has a goal to help the nest prosper so a lot of families can flourish.”  My little one then said, “I understand mommy. I too want the nest to be successful (BTW short concise version; the real one took about 20 minutes).  It was a hard moment and a glorious moment at the same time.  Apologizing and letting her off the hook gave both of us clarity and happiness.\r\n\r\n<b>3.</b>    <b>Take care of yourself first.</b>\r\n\r\nOn airplanes you are instructed to put the oxygen mask on your face before you put it on the child. This is true with parenting too, and especially true when we\'re stressed.  As a working mother, part of my existence is feeling guilty that somehow someway I am not spending enough time with my kids.  A good friend of ours <a href=\"https://mail.gulliverschools.org/owa/redir.aspx?C=95481d7267d34e379b8589f3bf43266c&amp;URL=http%3a%2f%2fwww.lulyb.com%2f\" target=\"_blank\">Luly B</a> speaks about how “balance is bull#$%t”.   She is right.   What we do every day is take moments to think about what needs to come first, second, and last. For me, in certain moments, the nest comes first and my children come second.  It never feels like balance because there is always something I could do with one or the other. I take care of myself by setting up systems so that they are okay and I am okay. My truth is that taking care of me means that sometimes I need to leave the children with my mom because I just need to sit and have a coffee alone, or I need to work three hours on our business plan, or I need to turn off the phone and play Legos with my kids. It is difficult and it does not feel good but it is necessary so that when I am with each part of my life that part gets 100% of my attention.\r\n\r\nSo this is my little recipe for how I deal with stress and how I deal with the day-to-day guilt of not being a good parent due to life, work and stress.  It is short, sweet, and never perfect.   But then again, perfection is overrated.','How This Parenting Expert Often Feels Like a Bad Parent','','inherit','open','open','','234-revision-v1','','','2014-02-26 20:58:08','2014-02-26 20:58:08','',234,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/234-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(245,3,'2014-03-06 01:24:18','2014-03-06 01:24:18','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/clarity-on-purpose-compliments-of-tony-robbins/tony-robbins-2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-247\"><img class=\" wp-image-247 alignright\" alt=\"Tony Robbins\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Tony-Robbins1.jpg\" width=\"380\" height=\"492\" /></a>This past weekend I was part of a group of more than 5000 people that went to see Tony Robbins speak.  I had only seen him speak on a <a href=\"https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do\" target=\"_blank\">TED talk</a> and knew that many Fortune 500 companies send their employees to him for motivation, so I figured he was outstanding at what he did.  My experience was pretty magical and truthfully transformational.  It was interesting for this therapist lady to be in the audience since I was experiencing the event as a participant but also as a professional; my takeaway was empowering.  What I got from him was a<!--more--> certainty that my work is valid not only because of the personal fears I examined, but also because of the information he shared with the group that I know to the core.\r\n\r\nHe spoke about everyone\'s “blueprint”.  He defined blueprint as the values, standards, beliefs and rules that we carry along that have been given to us by somebody else.   Throughout the conference he went back to the blueprint idea and asked everyone to wonder; what are your rules? what are somebody else\'s rules?  He encouraged the audience to make new rules and new belief systems for themselves because then you won’t be afraid of not being lovable or sufficient.\r\n\r\nI smiled as I listened to him speak because we tell parents that it is important to understand that the rules and the values they are setting help build and organize their little person.  We also let them now that the how, why and what they say to their little person also helps them organize if they are lovable and good enough.  So what Robbins was doing for a room full of adults we do at the nest for parents to help their children.  It was a full circle for me and empowering.\r\n\r\nIn the end, the most powerful moment was when he asked, “What do you want?” and the crowd shouted: “Love, love, love”, and I began to cry.  In that moment I knew that everything I believe in and everything I strive for in my work is what a group of 5000 wants most in their world.   I am grateful to Tony Robbins for reminding me that this work that we do at the nest is exactly right.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Clarity on Purpose Compliments of Tony Robbins','','publish','open','open','','clarity-on-purpose-compliments-of-tony-robbins','','','2014-03-06 01:24:18','2014-03-06 01:24:18','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=245',0,'post','',1),(246,3,'2014-03-06 01:20:32','2014-03-06 01:20:32','','Tony Robbins','','inherit','open','open','','tony-robbins','','','2014-03-06 01:20:32','2014-03-06 01:20:32','',245,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Tony-Robbins.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(247,3,'2014-03-06 01:22:14','2014-03-06 01:22:14','','Tony Robbins','','inherit','open','open','','tony-robbins-2','','','2014-03-06 01:22:14','2014-03-06 01:22:14','',245,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Tony-Robbins1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(248,3,'2014-03-06 01:23:36','2014-03-06 01:23:36','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=247\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-247\"><img class=\" wp-image-247 alignright\" alt=\"Tony Robbins\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Tony-Robbins1.jpg\" width=\"380\" height=\"492\" /></a>This past weekend I was part of a group of more than 5000 people that went to see Tony Robbins speak.  I had only seen him speak on a <a href=\"https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do\" target=\"_blank\">TED talk</a> and knew that many Fortune 500 companies send their employees to him for motivation, so I figured he was outstanding at what he did.  My experience was pretty magical and truthfully transformational.  It was interesting for this therapist lady to be in the audience since I was experiencing the event as a participant but also as a professional; my takeaway was empowering.  What I got from him was a certainty that my work is valid not only because of the personal fears I examined, but also because of the information he shared with the group that I know to the core.\r\n\r\nHe spoke about everyone\'s “blueprint”.  He defined blueprint as the values, standards, beliefs and rules that we carry along that have been given to us by somebody else.   Throughout the conference he went back to the blueprint idea and asked everyone to wonder; what are your rules? what are somebody else\'s rules?  He encouraged the audience to make new rules and new belief systems for themselves because then you won’t be afraid of not being lovable or sufficient.\r\n\r\nI smiled as I listened to him speak because we tell parents that it is important to understand that the rules and the values they are setting help build and organize their little person.  We also let them now that the how, why and what they say to their little person also helps them organize if they are lovable and good enough.  So what Robbins was doing for a room full of adults we do at the nest for parents to help their children.  It was a full circle for me and empowering.\r\n\r\nIn the end, the most powerful moment was when he asked, “What do you want?” and the crowd shouted: “Love, love, love”, and I began to cry.  In that moment I knew that everything I believe in and everything I strive for in my work is what a group of 5000 wants most in their world.   I am grateful to Tony Robbins for reminding me that this work that we do at the nest is exactly right.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Clarity on Purpose Compliments of Tony Robbins','','inherit','open','open','','245-revision-v1','','','2014-03-06 01:23:36','2014-03-06 01:23:36','',245,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/245-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(249,3,'2014-03-06 01:24:13','2014-03-06 01:24:13','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=247\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-247\"><img class=\" wp-image-247 alignright\" alt=\"Tony Robbins\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Tony-Robbins1.jpg\" width=\"380\" height=\"492\" /></a>This past weekend I was part of a group of more than 5000 people that went to see Tony Robbins speak.  I had only seen him speak on a <a href=\"https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do\" target=\"_blank\">TED talk</a> and knew that many Fortune 500 companies send their employees to him for motivation, so I figured he was outstanding at what he did.  My experience was pretty magical and truthfully transformational.  It was interesting for this therapist lady to be in the audience since I was experiencing the event as a participant but also as a professional; my takeaway was empowering.  What I got from him was a<!--more--> certainty that my work is valid not only because of the personal fears I examined, but also because of the information he shared with the group that I know to the core.\r\n\r\nHe spoke about everyone\'s “blueprint”.  He defined blueprint as the values, standards, beliefs and rules that we carry along that have been given to us by somebody else.   Throughout the conference he went back to the blueprint idea and asked everyone to wonder; what are your rules? what are somebody else\'s rules?  He encouraged the audience to make new rules and new belief systems for themselves because then you won’t be afraid of not being lovable or sufficient.\r\n\r\nI smiled as I listened to him speak because we tell parents that it is important to understand that the rules and the values they are setting help build and organize their little person.  We also let them now that the how, why and what they say to their little person also helps them organize if they are lovable and good enough.  So what Robbins was doing for a room full of adults we do at the nest for parents to help their children.  It was a full circle for me and empowering.\r\n\r\nIn the end, the most powerful moment was when he asked, “What do you want?” and the crowd shouted: “Love, love, love”, and I began to cry.  In that moment I knew that everything I believe in and everything I strive for in my work is what a group of 5000 wants most in their world.   I am grateful to Tony Robbins for reminding me that this work that we do at the nest is exactly right.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Clarity on Purpose Compliments of Tony Robbins','','inherit','open','open','','245-revision-v1','','','2014-03-06 01:24:13','2014-03-06 01:24:13','',245,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/245-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(250,3,'2014-03-06 01:24:18','2014-03-06 01:24:18','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/clarity-on-purpose-compliments-of-tony-robbins/tony-robbins-2/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-247\"><img class=\" wp-image-247 alignright\" alt=\"Tony Robbins\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Tony-Robbins1.jpg\" width=\"380\" height=\"492\" /></a>This past weekend I was part of a group of more than 5000 people that went to see Tony Robbins speak.  I had only seen him speak on a <a href=\"https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do\" target=\"_blank\">TED talk</a> and knew that many Fortune 500 companies send their employees to him for motivation, so I figured he was outstanding at what he did.  My experience was pretty magical and truthfully transformational.  It was interesting for this therapist lady to be in the audience since I was experiencing the event as a participant but also as a professional; my takeaway was empowering.  What I got from him was a<!--more--> certainty that my work is valid not only because of the personal fears I examined, but also because of the information he shared with the group that I know to the core.\r\n\r\nHe spoke about everyone\'s “blueprint”.  He defined blueprint as the values, standards, beliefs and rules that we carry along that have been given to us by somebody else.   Throughout the conference he went back to the blueprint idea and asked everyone to wonder; what are your rules? what are somebody else\'s rules?  He encouraged the audience to make new rules and new belief systems for themselves because then you won’t be afraid of not being lovable or sufficient.\r\n\r\nI smiled as I listened to him speak because we tell parents that it is important to understand that the rules and the values they are setting help build and organize their little person.  We also let them now that the how, why and what they say to their little person also helps them organize if they are lovable and good enough.  So what Robbins was doing for a room full of adults we do at the nest for parents to help their children.  It was a full circle for me and empowering.\r\n\r\nIn the end, the most powerful moment was when he asked, “What do you want?” and the crowd shouted: “Love, love, love”, and I began to cry.  In that moment I knew that everything I believe in and everything I strive for in my work is what a group of 5000 wants most in their world.   I am grateful to Tony Robbins for reminding me that this work that we do at the nest is exactly right.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Clarity on Purpose Compliments of Tony Robbins','','inherit','open','open','','245-revision-v1','','','2014-03-06 01:24:18','2014-03-06 01:24:18','',245,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/245-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(253,3,'2014-03-20 00:05:24','2014-03-20 00:05:24','','Carnival Slide','','inherit','open','open','','carnival-slide','','','2014-03-20 00:05:24','2014-03-20 00:05:24','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Carnival-Slide.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(257,3,'2014-03-20 00:18:09','2014-03-20 00:18:09','by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/my-buddha-daughter-and-her-emotional-mother/buddha-daughter/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-207\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-207\" alt=\"Buddha Daughter\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/Buddha-Daughter.jpg\" width=\"305\" height=\"317\" /></a>Recently, I have spent a lot of time writing and reading so that I can prepare for our new series of parent talks. As I was doing this I started thinking about my own journey in motherhood and how it has affected me. The one aspect of parenting that I have struggled with is the subject of the opening talk:  how to parent the personality your child was born with. I have a very strong personality. (My husband attributes it to“being Colombian”.)  When I was young I was told I was dramatic, and as an adult some people tend to be a little put off when they first meet me.  I am passionate when I speak and it makes some people uncomfortable.\r\n\r\nMy daughter and I are very different. She was born at 32 weeks, and even while she was hooked up to machines in the NICU she had this calm energy that surrounded her.  She\'s eight now and she still has aspects of how she was when she was just a little preemie. Her temperament is a real challenge for me.  Temperament is <!--more-->the way that we react to the world emotionally and behaviorally and scientists discovered that we all have a particular way of doing that. The key to parenting to the personality your child was born with is to figure out how to respond, discipline and set values to the temperament of your child.  My daughter and I do not have a good fit.  I am highly-reactive, highly emotional and when stressed, irrational. She is low-reactive, methodical, observant, and mostly calm. The development literature describes her as \"slow to warm\"; that\'s her temperament. The literature describes me as difficult, that\'s my temperament.\r\n\r\nIn infancy her temperament was a complete godsend. Since the circumstances of her birth were so scary, her time in the hospital, terrifying, her calm nature helped this irrational and emotional mommy stay calm.  But then came the toddler years and temperament showed its face clearly as her personality began to emerge. All of a sudden, I had a baby girl that was shy.  For her mommy, this very dramatic and in-your-face personality type, her being so calm and not being able to come into a situation and just take charge highly disrupted me.  Toddlers also start getting into things and since I had the trauma of the NICU every time she got into something I reacted. Of course I reacted in my own personal way - it was big, it was 0-10 and that caused great distress for my little toddler.  So we had a poor fit:  I was scaring her and she was frustrating me.  But since I was the parent and she the child, I had to adjust.  In the adjustment I began to understand my baby girl. She began to teach me a lesson in the ways of the Buddha.\r\n\r\nWhen I took a step back and stopped comparing her to me I realized that she wasn\'t “shy”, she was observant. Every time we went to a new space it took her about 10 minutes to adjust, to look at everything, to notice and then she would happily join in.  When I saw her getting into something I took a moment and gently stated, \"ah ah ah danger\" and she would stop immediately.  It was so easy. Before when I screamed be careful, all she did was get startled and cry.  I learned that my daughter quietly sees the world, noticing how everything functions.  Once I started seeing the world through her eyes the world was amazing and a lot less scary.  My emotional and dramatic self sometimes feels the world is a scary place.  She opened me up to a curious and beautiful view and for that I will always be grateful.\r\n\r\nMy daughter taught me a great lesson. The difficulty of parenting rests in being able to look at your child and see their individuality. I encourage all to take a moment today and truly look at your child. Wonder are they like me? Are they different?  Do our temperaments fit? When you figure the answers to those questions, I know beautiful things will happen between you.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>To learn more on parenting temperament join us at one of our talks.  <a href=\"http://http://us6.campaign-archive2.com/?u=c3ed31e545&amp;id=265d73dac3\" target=\"_blank\">Click here</a> for information</em>','My Buddha Daughter and Her Emotional Mother','','inherit','open','open','','199-revision-v1','','','2014-03-20 00:18:09','2014-03-20 00:18:09','',199,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/199-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(261,3,'2014-05-07 15:00:15','2014-05-07 15:00:15','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/changes-transitions-and-your-little-ones/fun-club/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.  Here are a few tips:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give<!--more--> advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','publish','open','open','','changes-transitions-and-your-little-ones','','','2014-05-07 15:32:51','2014-05-07 15:32:51','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=261',0,'post','',0),(262,3,'2014-05-07 14:41:59','2014-05-07 14:41:59','','Changes, Transitions and Your LittleO','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 14:41:59','2014-05-07 14:41:59','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(263,3,'2014-05-07 14:55:16','2014-05-07 14:55:16','','Fun Club','','inherit','open','open','','fun-club','','','2014-05-07 14:55:16','2014-05-07 14:55:16','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(265,3,'2014-05-07 14:58:59','2014-05-07 14:58:59','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=263\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 14:58:59','2014-05-07 14:58:59','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(264,3,'2014-05-07 14:57:10','2014-05-07 14:57:10','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=263\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"></p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 14:57:10','2014-05-07 14:57:10','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(266,3,'2014-05-07 14:59:39','2014-05-07 14:59:39','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=263\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.  Here are a few tips:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give<!--more--> advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 14:59:39','2014-05-07 14:59:39','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(267,3,'2014-05-07 15:00:15','2014-05-07 15:00:15','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/changes-transitions-and-your-little-ones/fun-club/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.  Here are a few tips:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give<!--more--> advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 15:00:15','2014-05-07 15:00:15','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(268,3,'2014-05-07 15:32:51','2014-05-07 15:32:51','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=263\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.  Here are a few tips:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give<!--more--> advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 15:32:51','2014-05-07 15:32:51','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(269,3,'2014-05-07 15:32:51','2014-05-07 15:32:51','By:  The Team at The Nest\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"right\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/changes-transitions-and-your-little-ones/fun-club/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-263\"><img class=\"alignleft  wp-image-263\" style=\"width: 314px;\" alt=\"Fun Club\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Fun-Club.jpg\" width=\"2000\" height=\"181\" /></a>The lives of our children are constantly in transition.  Our babies change from the breast/bottle to the Sippy cup.  They move from the crib to the toddler bed, from being an only child to being a sibling, and from the safety of their home to the newness of a school environment.  Since children thrive on routine these changes can be challenging for the child and the parent.  Preparing ourselves as parents can help these transitions in development go smoothly, so that we can focus our attention on the growth that follows change.  Here are a few tips:</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\" align=\"center\"> <b>1. Give<!--more--> advance warning</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b> </b>Children don’t yet hold the concept of time.  Allow them to help you set the timer on your phone and narrate for them what will happen when the bell rings.  “When the bells rings, mommy will help you put the trucks away in the basket then we will wash our hands and sit at the table for lunch.” This allows the child to wrap up his play and helps him feel in control of the transition.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> <b>2. Develop rituals.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Children thrive on consistency.  Develop fun and loving rituals with your child to get him from one activity to the other.  “Ok, it’s time to go to the car, let’s march and sing the ants are marching on.”  The child then feels they are having fun with mommy, instead of following a directive, or giving up an activity they were having fun doing.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>3. Keep your language simple.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"> Children respond well to simple statements such as “shoes” instead of engaging in a long conversation.  They are still mastering language and keeping it simple makes it easier for them to understand what you are asking your child to do.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong> 4. Offer choices.</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">“It’s time to get dressed, would you like to wear your red pants or your pink shorts?” Offer your child a controlled choice. This way you are controlling the action; getting dressed, but they are choosing what to wear.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><b>5. Get down to your child\'s level.</b></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">When asking your child to transition, get down on his level in order to assure that they are listening.  If your child is engaged in play, you telling them that it’s time to go from the other room will probably be ineffective.  Come over to them and speak to them on their level, and you may be surprise that they are willing to listen.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\"><strong>6. In large transitions (i.e. going to preschool, moving, etc.)</strong></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Create a picture book together with your child, describing the upcoming changes.  If you are moving to a new space: put pictures of your child in the old home, then take pictures of the new home, in between those pictures, place pictures of your child making different \"feeling faces\".  The book needs to start with what is happening now, what will happen in the future, and a prediction of how they may feel.  Keep it short and simple, like the board books they already own.  Read the book to your child two to one week before the big change.  This book tool is effective because it predicts and gives a narrative to your child about this great big change.</p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: left;\">Changes and transitions are difficult for most of us but with guidance and persistence your little ones will be alright!</p>\r\n&nbsp;','Changes, Transitions, and Your Little Ones','','inherit','open','open','','261-revision-v1','','','2014-05-07 15:32:51','2014-05-07 15:32:51','',261,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/261-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(351,3,'2014-12-31 16:49:39','2014-12-31 16:49:39','&nbsp;\n\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/why-your-mom-feeding-you-keeps-you-from-successfully-keeping-your-2014-resolution/2014-resolutions/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-180\"><img class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-180\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/2014-Resolutions.jpg\" alt=\"2014 Resolutions\" width=\"403\" height=\"488\" /></a>','Why Your Mom Feeding You Keeps You From Successfully Keeping Your 2014 Resolution','','inherit','open','open','','178-autosave-v1','','','2014-12-31 16:49:39','2014-12-31 16:49:39','',178,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/178-autosave-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(274,3,'2014-06-04 18:52:27','2014-06-04 18:52:27','<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/healthy-sexual-development-how-to-help-children-honor-their-bodies/nest-abstract057/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-275\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-275 size-medium\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/nest-abstract057-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"nest-abstract057\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\nBy The Team at The Nest\r\n\r\nMost parents believe their child will flourish into sexuality only in adolescence.  They are often taken by surprise when it happens sooner and many parents fear the worst.  The truth about sexual development is that it has been happening along with all the other aspects of a child’s development since baby was in utero.  Here are some tips on how to help your children from a young age to adolescence honor their sexuality and their bodies<!--more-->:\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Teach children to ask permission before touching others bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that no and stop are important words</li>\r\n	<li>Never force a child to hug or kiss someone when they don’t want to</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage children to wash their own genitals at bath time</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk about their bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage them to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t (i.e.: I don’t like to be tickled)</li>\r\n	<li>Don’t tease children for their boy-girl friendships and crushes, or sexualize their behavior</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that their behaviors affect others</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk to you about their bodies in any way they want without shame</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>For tweens and teens:</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Arm your children with knowledge and self-confidence as it pertains to sex, studies show that this will inform their decisions and direct their sexual destinies.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak openly about your values and your expectations as it pertains to sex.</li>\r\n	<li>Inquire and be open to dialogue about <em>their</em> values and expectations as it pertains to sex for them and how they see it play out in their social group (this is a time to listen not time to parent)</li>\r\n	<li>Continue to build their self-esteem, due to the increase in conflict during the tween/teen years it can be difficult to remember to continue to build up the children for all of skills, kindness, and appearance</li>\r\n	<li>Use media and subculture to take the opportunity to tackle conversations about sex. It’s difficult for adolescents to discriminate between what they think they should do and what they are actually comfortable doing when they are influenced by subculture.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak honestly with children about partying</li>\r\n	<li>Be “the house.” Peers are the strongest influence on the values attitudes and behaviors of adolescents.</li>\r\n</ol>\r\nIf a child engages in sexual behavior it is often difficult to decide if it is natural and healthy or if it is an indication of a disturbance.  The following lists are developmentally appropriate sexual behaviors.\r\n\r\nPre-school years(2-5):\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Touches and rubs own genitals when being changed, when going to sleep, when excited, or afraid.</li>\r\n	<li>Explores difference in gender</li>\r\n	<li>Touches the private parts of familiar adults</li>\r\n	<li>Ask about genitals, breast, intercourse and babies.</li>\r\n	<li>Using “dirty” words for bathroom and sexual functions</li>\r\n	<li>Plays doctor with other children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nKinder-4<sup>th</sup> grade: (same as above, and the behaviors below)\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Shows others their genitals</li>\r\n	<li>Interested in urination and defecation</li>\r\n	<li>Thinks others genital are “gross” or that they have “cooties”</li>\r\n	<li>Talks about sex with friends</li>\r\n	<li>Likes to hear and use “dirty” words</li>\r\n	<li>Compares genitals with peer-aged friends</li>\r\n	<li>Erections</li>\r\n	<li>Girls are menstruating as early as 9 years old, best practice is to talk to them about menstruation before it happens.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nMiddle-school- adolescence\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>The body matures faster than the emotional and intellectual abilities causing confusion.</li>\r\n	<li>Secondary sex traits like breast and pubic hair begin in girls between 7 and 14 years of age and in boys between 9 and 17 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>Males begin masturbating between 13 and 15 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>The onset of masturbation for females is gradual.</li>\r\n	<li>The median age of first intercourse for boys is 16.9 and girls is 17.4.</li>\r\n	<li>At least one third of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20.</li>\r\n	<li>About 73% of teens think sex is ok between consenting unmarried adults.</li>\r\n	<li>2-10 % of the population realize their homosexuality in their teenage years, due to societies negative attitudes about LGBTQ people; most gay , lesbian and bi-sexual teens suffer a great deal of emotional pain.</li>\r\n	<li>The most significant predictor of sexual intercourse between teenagers is alcohol and drug use, the presence of a boyfriend or girlfriend and poor parental monitoring.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nAlthough difficult to tackle it is best for children, tweens, and teens to get information about their sexuality from their parents.  It is another aspect of their development and a necessary place for guidance.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>*** If you are concerned or wondering about your child’s sexual behavior seek assistance from a therapist or your  child’s doctor.  Call us at The Nest 305-392-0788, we can help.***</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Healthy Sexual Development: How to Help Children Honor Their Bodies','','publish','open','open','','healthy-sexual-development-how-to-help-children-honor-their-bodies','','','2014-06-04 18:53:07','2014-06-04 18:53:07','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=274',0,'post','',0),(276,3,'2014-06-04 18:50:24','2014-06-04 18:50:24','<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=275\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-275\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-275 size-medium\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/nest-abstract057-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"nest-abstract057\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\nMost parents believe their child will flourish into sexuality only in adolescence.  They are often taken by surprise when it happens sooner and many parents fear the worst.  The truth about sexual development is that it has been happening along with all the other aspects of a child’s development since baby was in utero.  Here are some tips on how to help your children from a young age to adolescence honor their sexuality and their bodies:\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Teach children to ask permission before touching others bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that no and stop are important words</li>\r\n	<li>Never force a child to hug or kiss someone when they don’t want to</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage children to wash their own genitals at bath time</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk about their bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage them to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t (i.e.: I don’t like to be tickled)</li>\r\n	<li>Don’t tease children for their boy-girl friendships and crushes, or sexualize their behavior</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that their behaviors affect others</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk to you about their bodies in any way they want without shame</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>For tweens and teens:</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Arm your children with knowledge and self-confidence as it pertains to sex, studies show that this will inform their decisions and direct their sexual destinies.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak openly about your values and your expectations as it pertains to sex.</li>\r\n	<li>Inquire and be open to dialogue about <em>their</em> values and expectations as it pertains to sex for them and how they see it play out in their social group (this is a time to listen not time to parent)</li>\r\n	<li>Continue to build their self-esteem, due to the increase in conflict during the tween/teen years it can be difficult to remember to continue to build up the children for all of skills, kindness, and appearance</li>\r\n	<li>Use media and subculture to take the opportunity to tackle conversations about sex. It’s difficult for adolescents to discriminate between what they think they should do and what they are actually comfortable doing when they are influenced by subculture.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak honestly with children about partying</li>\r\n	<li>Be “the house.” Peers are the strongest influence on the values attitudes and behaviors of adolescents.</li>\r\n</ol>\r\nIf a child engages in sexual behavior it is often difficult to decide if it is natural and healthy or if it is an indication of a disturbance.  The following lists are developmentally appropriate sexual behaviors.\r\n\r\nPre-school years(2-5):\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Touches and rubs own genitals when being changed, when going to sleep, when excited, or afraid.</li>\r\n	<li>Explores difference in gender</li>\r\n	<li>Touches the private parts of familiar adults</li>\r\n	<li>Ask about genitals, breast, intercourse and babies.</li>\r\n	<li>Using “dirty” words for bathroom and sexual functions</li>\r\n	<li>Plays doctor with other children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nKinder-4<sup>th</sup> grade: (same as above, and the behaviors below)\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Shows others their genitals</li>\r\n	<li>Interested in urination and defecation</li>\r\n	<li>Thinks others genital are “gross” or that they have “cooties”</li>\r\n	<li>Talks about sex with friends</li>\r\n	<li>Likes to hear and use “dirty” words</li>\r\n	<li>Compares genitals with peer-aged friends</li>\r\n	<li>Erections</li>\r\n	<li>Girls are menstruating as early as 9 years old, best practice is to talk to them about menstruation before it happens.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nMiddle-school- adolescence\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>The body matures faster than the emotional and intellectual abilities causing confusion.</li>\r\n	<li>Secondary sex traits like breast and pubic hair begin in girls between 7 and 14 years of age and in boys between 9 and 17 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>Males begin masturbating between 13 and 15 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>The onset of masturbation for females is gradual.</li>\r\n	<li>The median age of first intercourse for boys is 16.9 and girls is 17.4.</li>\r\n	<li>At least one third of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20.</li>\r\n	<li>About 73% of teens think sex is ok between consenting unmarried adults.</li>\r\n	<li>2-10 % of the population realize their homosexuality in their teenage years, due to societies negative attitudes about LGBTQ people; most gay , lesbian and bi-sexual teens suffer a great deal of emotional pain.</li>\r\n	<li>The most significant predictor of sexual intercourse between teenagers is alcohol and drug use, the presence of a boyfriend or girlfriend and poor parental monitoring.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nAlthough difficult to tackle it is best for children, tweens, and teens to get information about their sexuality from their parents.  It is another aspect of their development and a necessary place for guidance.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>*** If you are concerned or wondering about your child’s sexual behavior seek assistance from a therapist or your  child’s doctor.  Call us at The Nest 305-392-0788, we can help.***</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Healthy Sexual Development: How to Help Children Honor Their Bodies','','inherit','open','open','','274-revision-v1','','','2014-06-04 18:50:24','2014-06-04 18:50:24','',274,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/274-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(277,3,'2014-06-04 18:52:22','2014-06-04 18:52:22','<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=275\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-275\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-275 size-medium\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/nest-abstract057-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"nest-abstract057\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\nMost parents believe their child will flourish into sexuality only in adolescence.  They are often taken by surprise when it happens sooner and many parents fear the worst.  The truth about sexual development is that it has been happening along with all the other aspects of a child’s development since baby was in utero.  Here are some tips on how to help your children from a young age to adolescence honor their sexuality and their bodies<!--more-->:\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Teach children to ask permission before touching others bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that no and stop are important words</li>\r\n	<li>Never force a child to hug or kiss someone when they don’t want to</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage children to wash their own genitals at bath time</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk about their bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage them to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t (i.e.: I don’t like to be tickled)</li>\r\n	<li>Don’t tease children for their boy-girl friendships and crushes, or sexualize their behavior</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that their behaviors affect others</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk to you about their bodies in any way they want without shame</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>For tweens and teens:</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Arm your children with knowledge and self-confidence as it pertains to sex, studies show that this will inform their decisions and direct their sexual destinies.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak openly about your values and your expectations as it pertains to sex.</li>\r\n	<li>Inquire and be open to dialogue about <em>their</em> values and expectations as it pertains to sex for them and how they see it play out in their social group (this is a time to listen not time to parent)</li>\r\n	<li>Continue to build their self-esteem, due to the increase in conflict during the tween/teen years it can be difficult to remember to continue to build up the children for all of skills, kindness, and appearance</li>\r\n	<li>Use media and subculture to take the opportunity to tackle conversations about sex. It’s difficult for adolescents to discriminate between what they think they should do and what they are actually comfortable doing when they are influenced by subculture.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak honestly with children about partying</li>\r\n	<li>Be “the house.” Peers are the strongest influence on the values attitudes and behaviors of adolescents.</li>\r\n</ol>\r\nIf a child engages in sexual behavior it is often difficult to decide if it is natural and healthy or if it is an indication of a disturbance.  The following lists are developmentally appropriate sexual behaviors.\r\n\r\nPre-school years(2-5):\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Touches and rubs own genitals when being changed, when going to sleep, when excited, or afraid.</li>\r\n	<li>Explores difference in gender</li>\r\n	<li>Touches the private parts of familiar adults</li>\r\n	<li>Ask about genitals, breast, intercourse and babies.</li>\r\n	<li>Using “dirty” words for bathroom and sexual functions</li>\r\n	<li>Plays doctor with other children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nKinder-4<sup>th</sup> grade: (same as above, and the behaviors below)\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Shows others their genitals</li>\r\n	<li>Interested in urination and defecation</li>\r\n	<li>Thinks others genital are “gross” or that they have “cooties”</li>\r\n	<li>Talks about sex with friends</li>\r\n	<li>Likes to hear and use “dirty” words</li>\r\n	<li>Compares genitals with peer-aged friends</li>\r\n	<li>Erections</li>\r\n	<li>Girls are menstruating as early as 9 years old, best practice is to talk to them about menstruation before it happens.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nMiddle-school- adolescence\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>The body matures faster than the emotional and intellectual abilities causing confusion.</li>\r\n	<li>Secondary sex traits like breast and pubic hair begin in girls between 7 and 14 years of age and in boys between 9 and 17 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>Males begin masturbating between 13 and 15 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>The onset of masturbation for females is gradual.</li>\r\n	<li>The median age of first intercourse for boys is 16.9 and girls is 17.4.</li>\r\n	<li>At least one third of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20.</li>\r\n	<li>About 73% of teens think sex is ok between consenting unmarried adults.</li>\r\n	<li>2-10 % of the population realize their homosexuality in their teenage years, due to societies negative attitudes about LGBTQ people; most gay , lesbian and bi-sexual teens suffer a great deal of emotional pain.</li>\r\n	<li>The most significant predictor of sexual intercourse between teenagers is alcohol and drug use, the presence of a boyfriend or girlfriend and poor parental monitoring.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nAlthough difficult to tackle it is best for children, tweens, and teens to get information about their sexuality from their parents.  It is another aspect of their development and a necessary place for guidance.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>*** If you are concerned or wondering about your child’s sexual behavior seek assistance from a therapist or your  child’s doctor.  Call us at The Nest 305-392-0788, we can help.***</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Healthy Sexual Development: How to Help Children Honor Their Bodies','','inherit','open','open','','274-revision-v1','','','2014-06-04 18:52:22','2014-06-04 18:52:22','',274,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/274-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(278,3,'2014-06-04 18:52:28','2014-06-04 18:52:28','<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/healthy-sexual-development-how-to-help-children-honor-their-bodies/nest-abstract057/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-275\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-275 size-medium\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/nest-abstract057-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"nest-abstract057\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\nMost parents believe their child will flourish into sexuality only in adolescence.  They are often taken by surprise when it happens sooner and many parents fear the worst.  The truth about sexual development is that it has been happening along with all the other aspects of a child’s development since baby was in utero.  Here are some tips on how to help your children from a young age to adolescence honor their sexuality and their bodies<!--more-->:\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Teach children to ask permission before touching others bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that no and stop are important words</li>\r\n	<li>Never force a child to hug or kiss someone when they don’t want to</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage children to wash their own genitals at bath time</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk about their bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage them to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t (i.e.: I don’t like to be tickled)</li>\r\n	<li>Don’t tease children for their boy-girl friendships and crushes, or sexualize their behavior</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that their behaviors affect others</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk to you about their bodies in any way they want without shame</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>For tweens and teens:</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Arm your children with knowledge and self-confidence as it pertains to sex, studies show that this will inform their decisions and direct their sexual destinies.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak openly about your values and your expectations as it pertains to sex.</li>\r\n	<li>Inquire and be open to dialogue about <em>their</em> values and expectations as it pertains to sex for them and how they see it play out in their social group (this is a time to listen not time to parent)</li>\r\n	<li>Continue to build their self-esteem, due to the increase in conflict during the tween/teen years it can be difficult to remember to continue to build up the children for all of skills, kindness, and appearance</li>\r\n	<li>Use media and subculture to take the opportunity to tackle conversations about sex. It’s difficult for adolescents to discriminate between what they think they should do and what they are actually comfortable doing when they are influenced by subculture.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak honestly with children about partying</li>\r\n	<li>Be “the house.” Peers are the strongest influence on the values attitudes and behaviors of adolescents.</li>\r\n</ol>\r\nIf a child engages in sexual behavior it is often difficult to decide if it is natural and healthy or if it is an indication of a disturbance.  The following lists are developmentally appropriate sexual behaviors.\r\n\r\nPre-school years(2-5):\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Touches and rubs own genitals when being changed, when going to sleep, when excited, or afraid.</li>\r\n	<li>Explores difference in gender</li>\r\n	<li>Touches the private parts of familiar adults</li>\r\n	<li>Ask about genitals, breast, intercourse and babies.</li>\r\n	<li>Using “dirty” words for bathroom and sexual functions</li>\r\n	<li>Plays doctor with other children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nKinder-4<sup>th</sup> grade: (same as above, and the behaviors below)\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Shows others their genitals</li>\r\n	<li>Interested in urination and defecation</li>\r\n	<li>Thinks others genital are “gross” or that they have “cooties”</li>\r\n	<li>Talks about sex with friends</li>\r\n	<li>Likes to hear and use “dirty” words</li>\r\n	<li>Compares genitals with peer-aged friends</li>\r\n	<li>Erections</li>\r\n	<li>Girls are menstruating as early as 9 years old, best practice is to talk to them about menstruation before it happens.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nMiddle-school- adolescence\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>The body matures faster than the emotional and intellectual abilities causing confusion.</li>\r\n	<li>Secondary sex traits like breast and pubic hair begin in girls between 7 and 14 years of age and in boys between 9 and 17 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>Males begin masturbating between 13 and 15 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>The onset of masturbation for females is gradual.</li>\r\n	<li>The median age of first intercourse for boys is 16.9 and girls is 17.4.</li>\r\n	<li>At least one third of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20.</li>\r\n	<li>About 73% of teens think sex is ok between consenting unmarried adults.</li>\r\n	<li>2-10 % of the population realize their homosexuality in their teenage years, due to societies negative attitudes about LGBTQ people; most gay , lesbian and bi-sexual teens suffer a great deal of emotional pain.</li>\r\n	<li>The most significant predictor of sexual intercourse between teenagers is alcohol and drug use, the presence of a boyfriend or girlfriend and poor parental monitoring.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nAlthough difficult to tackle it is best for children, tweens, and teens to get information about their sexuality from their parents.  It is another aspect of their development and a necessary place for guidance.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>*** If you are concerned or wondering about your child’s sexual behavior seek assistance from a therapist or your  child’s doctor.  Call us at The Nest 305-392-0788, we can help.***</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Healthy Sexual Development: How to Help Children Honor Their Bodies','','inherit','open','open','','274-revision-v1','','','2014-06-04 18:52:28','2014-06-04 18:52:28','',274,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/274-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(279,3,'2014-06-04 18:53:07','2014-06-04 18:53:07','<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/healthy-sexual-development-how-to-help-children-honor-their-bodies/nest-abstract057/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-275\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-275 size-medium\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/nest-abstract057-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"nest-abstract057\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" /></a>\r\n\r\nBy The Team at The Nest\r\n\r\nMost parents believe their child will flourish into sexuality only in adolescence.  They are often taken by surprise when it happens sooner and many parents fear the worst.  The truth about sexual development is that it has been happening along with all the other aspects of a child’s development since baby was in utero.  Here are some tips on how to help your children from a young age to adolescence honor their sexuality and their bodies<!--more-->:\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Teach children to ask permission before touching others bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that no and stop are important words</li>\r\n	<li>Never force a child to hug or kiss someone when they don’t want to</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage children to wash their own genitals at bath time</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk about their bodies</li>\r\n	<li>Encourage them to talk about what feels good and what doesn’t (i.e.: I don’t like to be tickled)</li>\r\n	<li>Don’t tease children for their boy-girl friendships and crushes, or sexualize their behavior</li>\r\n	<li>Teach children that their behaviors affect others</li>\r\n	<li>Allow children to talk to you about their bodies in any way they want without shame</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n<strong>For tweens and teens:</strong>\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Arm your children with knowledge and self-confidence as it pertains to sex, studies show that this will inform their decisions and direct their sexual destinies.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak openly about your values and your expectations as it pertains to sex.</li>\r\n	<li>Inquire and be open to dialogue about <em>their</em> values and expectations as it pertains to sex for them and how they see it play out in their social group (this is a time to listen not time to parent)</li>\r\n	<li>Continue to build their self-esteem, due to the increase in conflict during the tween/teen years it can be difficult to remember to continue to build up the children for all of skills, kindness, and appearance</li>\r\n	<li>Use media and subculture to take the opportunity to tackle conversations about sex. It’s difficult for adolescents to discriminate between what they think they should do and what they are actually comfortable doing when they are influenced by subculture.</li>\r\n	<li>Speak honestly with children about partying</li>\r\n	<li>Be “the house.” Peers are the strongest influence on the values attitudes and behaviors of adolescents.</li>\r\n</ol>\r\nIf a child engages in sexual behavior it is often difficult to decide if it is natural and healthy or if it is an indication of a disturbance.  The following lists are developmentally appropriate sexual behaviors.\r\n\r\nPre-school years(2-5):\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Touches and rubs own genitals when being changed, when going to sleep, when excited, or afraid.</li>\r\n	<li>Explores difference in gender</li>\r\n	<li>Touches the private parts of familiar adults</li>\r\n	<li>Ask about genitals, breast, intercourse and babies.</li>\r\n	<li>Using “dirty” words for bathroom and sexual functions</li>\r\n	<li>Plays doctor with other children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nKinder-4<sup>th</sup> grade: (same as above, and the behaviors below)\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Shows others their genitals</li>\r\n	<li>Interested in urination and defecation</li>\r\n	<li>Thinks others genital are “gross” or that they have “cooties”</li>\r\n	<li>Talks about sex with friends</li>\r\n	<li>Likes to hear and use “dirty” words</li>\r\n	<li>Compares genitals with peer-aged friends</li>\r\n	<li>Erections</li>\r\n	<li>Girls are menstruating as early as 9 years old, best practice is to talk to them about menstruation before it happens.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nMiddle-school- adolescence\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>The body matures faster than the emotional and intellectual abilities causing confusion.</li>\r\n	<li>Secondary sex traits like breast and pubic hair begin in girls between 7 and 14 years of age and in boys between 9 and 17 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>Males begin masturbating between 13 and 15 years of age.</li>\r\n	<li>The onset of masturbation for females is gradual.</li>\r\n	<li>The median age of first intercourse for boys is 16.9 and girls is 17.4.</li>\r\n	<li>At least one third of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20.</li>\r\n	<li>About 73% of teens think sex is ok between consenting unmarried adults.</li>\r\n	<li>2-10 % of the population realize their homosexuality in their teenage years, due to societies negative attitudes about LGBTQ people; most gay , lesbian and bi-sexual teens suffer a great deal of emotional pain.</li>\r\n	<li>The most significant predictor of sexual intercourse between teenagers is alcohol and drug use, the presence of a boyfriend or girlfriend and poor parental monitoring.</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nAlthough difficult to tackle it is best for children, tweens, and teens to get information about their sexuality from their parents.  It is another aspect of their development and a necessary place for guidance.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n<em>*** If you are concerned or wondering about your child’s sexual behavior seek assistance from a therapist or your  child’s doctor.  Call us at The Nest 305-392-0788, we can help.***</em>\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Healthy Sexual Development: How to Help Children Honor Their Bodies','','inherit','open','open','','274-revision-v1','','','2014-06-04 18:53:07','2014-06-04 18:53:07','',274,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/274-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(283,3,'2014-07-01 23:46:39','2014-07-01 23:46:39','By The Team at The Nest\r\n\r\nParenting with a partner can be the most challenging and rewarding experience you ever have <a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-partner-in-parenting/hesaidshesaid/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-285\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-285\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/hesaidshesaid-223x300.jpg\" alt=\"hesaidshesaid\" width=\"223\" height=\"300\" /></a>as a couple. Whether you were brought together by similarities or attracted by differences, it’s impossible to predict who you will be as a parent until you are in it. Suddenly, differences in ideology emerge; who are we as parents? What religion should we teach our child? My partner values discipline and respect and I value compassion and creativity; how can we parent so that all our values are represented? How do we get on the same page? Opening up to<!--more--> each other and being honest about your parenting expectations is the first step in moving towards a cohesive family plan and a successful parenting partnership.\r\n\r\nWhat the Science Tells Us:\r\n\r\n1. Multiple Studies show that a new baby brings decline in the happiness and connection of a couple. One study found 80% of couples found a decline in marital quality. (Belsky, J &amp; Kelly J ,1994) They also state that the health and welfare of the baby’s development is highly contingent on the quality of the parents’ relationship. (Nachmias, M et al, 1996) The primary sources for conflict between couples are:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Sleep Loss</li>\r\n	<li>Social Isolation</li>\r\n	<li>Unequal Workload</li>\r\n	<li>Depression- equally critical in both parents</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nIt is important to understand these stressors, set expectations around them and discuss them openly since your relationship is linked to your children’s well-being.\r\n\r\n2. Families that raise moral children have parents that are unified and consistent with:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Consistent Rules and Rewards</li>\r\n	<li>Swift and clear consequences and punishment</li>\r\n	<li>Rules that are explained and clear to the children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n3. Attachment theorists understand that the greatest predictor of how a child will develop and thrive is how their parents make sense of their own lives. If parents make sense of how their pasts affect them, their children do well.\r\n\r\n4. A father’s involvement with his children is directly linked to how much time he spent taking care of them when they were infants. (Donate-Bartfield &amp; Passman,1985) It is important for mothers to understand that when they do not involve the father in the care of the infant, they are intervening with the future relationship between father and child.\r\n\r\nIt is important to work together as partners to move toward parenting together. In order to do this, be sure to think about and share with one another your <strong>expectations</strong>. Speak and ask one another what kind of parent you expect to be and what kind of parent you expect your partner to be. Be sure to find and tell one another your <strong>core values</strong>. When you are clear on your values, it becomes easier to discipline and make daily decisions about your children together. Discover, think about and share with one another those things you find are <strong>strengths in your partner</strong> as a parent. We often tell our partners what is wrong, rather than celebrating the positive; this works for parenting as well as your relationship. If you can continually check in with one another on these ideas throughout the development of your children, your partnership as parents will most likely blossom.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Getting on the Same Page with your Partner in Parenting','','publish','open','open','','getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-partner-in-parenting','','','2014-07-01 23:46:39','2014-07-01 23:46:39','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=283',0,'post','',0),(284,3,'2014-07-01 23:41:58','2014-07-01 23:41:58','By The Team at The Nest\r\n\r\nParenting with a partner can be the most challenging and rewarding experience you ever have as a couple. Whether you were brought together by similarities or attracted by differences, it’s impossible to predict who you will be as a parent until you are in it. Suddenly, differences in ideology emerge; who are we as parents? What religion should we teach our child? My partner values discipline and respect and I value compassion and creativity; how can we parent so that all our values are represented? How do we get on the same page? Opening up to<!--more--> each other and being honest about your parenting expectations is the first step in moving towards a cohesive family plan and a successful parenting partnership.\r\n\r\nWhat the Science Tells Us:\r\n\r\n1. Multiple Studies show that a new baby brings decline in the happiness and connection of a couple. One study found 80% of couples found a decline in marital quality. (Belsky, J &amp; Kelly J ,1994) They also state that the health and welfare of the baby’s development is highly contingent on the quality of the parents’ relationship. (Nachmias, M et al, 1996) The primary sources for conflict between couples are:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Sleep Loss</li>\r\n	<li>Social Isolation</li>\r\n	<li>Unequal Workload</li>\r\n	<li>Depression- equally critical in both parents</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nIt is important to understand these stressors, set expectations around them and discuss them openly since your relationship is linked to your children’s well-being.\r\n\r\n2. Families that raise moral children have parents that are unified and consistent with:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Consistent Rules and Rewards</li>\r\n	<li>Swift and clear consequences and punishment</li>\r\n	<li>Rules that are explained and clear to the children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n3. Attachment theorists understand that the greatest predictor of how a child will develop and thrive is how their parents make sense of their own lives. If parents make sense of how their pasts affect them, their children do well.\r\n\r\n4. A father’s involvement with his children is directly linked to how much time he spent taking care of them when they were infants. (Donate-Bartfield &amp; Passman,1985) It is important for mothers to understand that when they do not involve the father in the care of the infant, they are intervening with the future relationship between father and child.\r\n\r\nIt is important to work together as partners to move toward parenting together. In order to do this, be sure to think about and share with one another your <strong>expectations</strong>. Speak and ask one another what kind of parent you expect to be and what kind of parent you expect your partner to be. Be sure to find and tell one another your <strong>core values</strong>. When you are clear on your values, it becomes easier to discipline and make daily decisions about your children together. Discover, think about and share with one another those things you find are <strong>strengths in your partner</strong> as a parent. We often tell our partners what is wrong, rather than celebrating the positive; this works for parenting as well as your relationship. If you can continually check in with one another on these ideas throughout the development of your children, your partnership as parents will most likely blossom.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Getting on the Same Page with your Partner in Parenting','','inherit','open','open','','283-revision-v1','','','2014-07-01 23:41:58','2014-07-01 23:41:58','',283,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/283-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(285,3,'2014-07-01 23:44:41','2014-07-01 23:44:41','','hesaidshesaid','','inherit','open','open','','hesaidshesaid','','','2014-07-01 23:44:41','2014-07-01 23:44:41','',283,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/hesaidshesaid.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(286,3,'2014-07-01 23:44:54','2014-07-01 23:44:54','By The Team at The Nest\r\n\r\nParenting with a partner can be the most challenging and rewarding experience you ever have <a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=285\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-285\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-285\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/hesaidshesaid-223x300.jpg\" alt=\"hesaidshesaid\" width=\"223\" height=\"300\" /></a>as a couple. Whether you were brought together by similarities or attracted by differences, it’s impossible to predict who you will be as a parent until you are in it. Suddenly, differences in ideology emerge; who are we as parents? What religion should we teach our child? My partner values discipline and respect and I value compassion and creativity; how can we parent so that all our values are represented? How do we get on the same page? Opening up to<!--more--> each other and being honest about your parenting expectations is the first step in moving towards a cohesive family plan and a successful parenting partnership.\r\n\r\nWhat the Science Tells Us:\r\n\r\n1. Multiple Studies show that a new baby brings decline in the happiness and connection of a couple. One study found 80% of couples found a decline in marital quality. (Belsky, J &amp; Kelly J ,1994) They also state that the health and welfare of the baby’s development is highly contingent on the quality of the parents’ relationship. (Nachmias, M et al, 1996) The primary sources for conflict between couples are:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Sleep Loss</li>\r\n	<li>Social Isolation</li>\r\n	<li>Unequal Workload</li>\r\n	<li>Depression- equally critical in both parents</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nIt is important to understand these stressors, set expectations around them and discuss them openly since your relationship is linked to your children’s well-being.\r\n\r\n2. Families that raise moral children have parents that are unified and consistent with:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Consistent Rules and Rewards</li>\r\n	<li>Swift and clear consequences and punishment</li>\r\n	<li>Rules that are explained and clear to the children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n3. Attachment theorists understand that the greatest predictor of how a child will develop and thrive is how their parents make sense of their own lives. If parents make sense of how their pasts affect them, their children do well.\r\n\r\n4. A father’s involvement with his children is directly linked to how much time he spent taking care of them when they were infants. (Donate-Bartfield &amp; Passman,1985) It is important for mothers to understand that when they do not involve the father in the care of the infant, they are intervening with the future relationship between father and child.\r\n\r\nIt is important to work together as partners to move toward parenting together. In order to do this, be sure to think about and share with one another your <strong>expectations</strong>. Speak and ask one another what kind of parent you expect to be and what kind of parent you expect your partner to be. Be sure to find and tell one another your <strong>core values</strong>. When you are clear on your values, it becomes easier to discipline and make daily decisions about your children together. Discover, think about and share with one another those things you find are <strong>strengths in your partner</strong> as a parent. We often tell our partners what is wrong, rather than celebrating the positive; this works for parenting as well as your relationship. If you can continually check in with one another on these ideas throughout the development of your children, your partnership as parents will most likely blossom.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Getting on the Same Page with your Partner in Parenting','','inherit','open','open','','283-revision-v1','','','2014-07-01 23:44:54','2014-07-01 23:44:54','',283,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/283-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(287,3,'2014-07-01 23:46:39','2014-07-01 23:46:39','By The Team at The Nest\r\n\r\nParenting with a partner can be the most challenging and rewarding experience you ever have <a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/getting-on-the-same-page-with-your-partner-in-parenting/hesaidshesaid/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-285\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-285\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/hesaidshesaid-223x300.jpg\" alt=\"hesaidshesaid\" width=\"223\" height=\"300\" /></a>as a couple. Whether you were brought together by similarities or attracted by differences, it’s impossible to predict who you will be as a parent until you are in it. Suddenly, differences in ideology emerge; who are we as parents? What religion should we teach our child? My partner values discipline and respect and I value compassion and creativity; how can we parent so that all our values are represented? How do we get on the same page? Opening up to<!--more--> each other and being honest about your parenting expectations is the first step in moving towards a cohesive family plan and a successful parenting partnership.\r\n\r\nWhat the Science Tells Us:\r\n\r\n1. Multiple Studies show that a new baby brings decline in the happiness and connection of a couple. One study found 80% of couples found a decline in marital quality. (Belsky, J &amp; Kelly J ,1994) They also state that the health and welfare of the baby’s development is highly contingent on the quality of the parents’ relationship. (Nachmias, M et al, 1996) The primary sources for conflict between couples are:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Sleep Loss</li>\r\n	<li>Social Isolation</li>\r\n	<li>Unequal Workload</li>\r\n	<li>Depression- equally critical in both parents</li>\r\n</ul>\r\nIt is important to understand these stressors, set expectations around them and discuss them openly since your relationship is linked to your children’s well-being.\r\n\r\n2. Families that raise moral children have parents that are unified and consistent with:\r\n<ul>\r\n	<li>Consistent Rules and Rewards</li>\r\n	<li>Swift and clear consequences and punishment</li>\r\n	<li>Rules that are explained and clear to the children</li>\r\n</ul>\r\n3. Attachment theorists understand that the greatest predictor of how a child will develop and thrive is how their parents make sense of their own lives. If parents make sense of how their pasts affect them, their children do well.\r\n\r\n4. A father’s involvement with his children is directly linked to how much time he spent taking care of them when they were infants. (Donate-Bartfield &amp; Passman,1985) It is important for mothers to understand that when they do not involve the father in the care of the infant, they are intervening with the future relationship between father and child.\r\n\r\nIt is important to work together as partners to move toward parenting together. In order to do this, be sure to think about and share with one another your <strong>expectations</strong>. Speak and ask one another what kind of parent you expect to be and what kind of parent you expect your partner to be. Be sure to find and tell one another your <strong>core values</strong>. When you are clear on your values, it becomes easier to discipline and make daily decisions about your children together. Discover, think about and share with one another those things you find are <strong>strengths in your partner</strong> as a parent. We often tell our partners what is wrong, rather than celebrating the positive; this works for parenting as well as your relationship. If you can continually check in with one another on these ideas throughout the development of your children, your partnership as parents will most likely blossom.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Getting on the Same Page with your Partner in Parenting','','inherit','open','open','','283-revision-v1','','','2014-07-01 23:46:39','2014-07-01 23:46:39','',283,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/283-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(288,3,'2014-07-02 22:45:34','2014-07-02 22:45:34','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 size-full\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"121\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\nPlanning a move is tasking; when it comes to those in the tween-teen years it is especially difficult.  At this age their social world and their place in it is of high importance.  It is important as a parent of a tween or teen to hold this in mind when moving or transitioning them to a new social world.  Here are some 4 tips to keep in mind:\r\n\r\n<strong>1. Give advance warning and information.</strong>\r\n\r\nIt may seem easier to hold off on telling the children about your upcoming move.  You may want to spare them the stress and worry.  However, last minute changes can be very difficult on the tween/teen.  They need to be able to process and understand how the world they know will be changing and predict what it will be like in the new place.   Allow time for dialogue and for questions, reassuring them that no question will be left unanswered (as long as an answer exists).\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on <a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html\" target=\"_blank\">Los Tweens</a>','Tips for Moving with Tweens and Teens','','publish','open','open','','tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens','','\nhttp://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html','2014-07-02 22:47:42','2014-07-02 22:47:42','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=288',0,'post','',0),(289,3,'2014-07-02 22:39:32','2014-07-02 22:39:32','','Los Tweens resized','AS SEEN ON ','inherit','open','open','','los-tweens-resized','','','2014-07-02 22:39:32','2014-07-02 22:39:32','',288,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png',0,'attachment','image/png',0),(290,3,'2014-07-02 22:44:47','2014-07-02 22:44:47','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=289\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 size-full\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"121\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\nPlanning a move is tasking; when it comes to those in the tween-teen years it is especially difficult.  At this age their social world and their place in it is of high importance.  It is important as a parent of a tween or teen to hold this in mind when moving or transitioning them to a new social world.  Here are some 4 tips to keep in mind:\r\n\r\n<strong>1. Give advance warning and information.</strong>\r\n\r\nIt may seem easier to hold off on telling the children about your upcoming move.  You may want to spare them the stress and worry.  However, last minute changes can be very difficult on the tween/teen.  They need to be able to process and understand how the world they know will be changing and predict what it will be like in the new place.   Allow time for dialogue and for questions, reassuring them that no question will be left unanswered (as long as an answer exists).\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on <a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html\" target=\"_blank\">Los Tweens</a>','Tips for Moving with Tweens and Teens','','inherit','open','open','','288-revision-v1','','','2014-07-02 22:44:47','2014-07-02 22:44:47','',288,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/288-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(291,3,'2014-07-02 22:45:35','2014-07-02 22:45:35','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens/los-tweens-resized/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 size-full\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"121\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\nPlanning a move is tasking; when it comes to those in the tween-teen years it is especially difficult.  At this age their social world and their place in it is of high importance.  It is important as a parent of a tween or teen to hold this in mind when moving or transitioning them to a new social world.  Here are some 4 tips to keep in mind:\r\n\r\n<strong>1. Give advance warning and information.</strong>\r\n\r\nIt may seem easier to hold off on telling the children about your upcoming move.  You may want to spare them the stress and worry.  However, last minute changes can be very difficult on the tween/teen.  They need to be able to process and understand how the world they know will be changing and predict what it will be like in the new place.   Allow time for dialogue and for questions, reassuring them that no question will be left unanswered (as long as an answer exists).\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on <a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html\" target=\"_blank\">Los Tweens</a>','Tips for Moving with Tweens and Teens','','inherit','open','open','','288-revision-v1','','','2014-07-02 22:45:35','2014-07-02 22:45:35','',288,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/288-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(292,3,'2014-07-02 22:46:55','2014-07-02 22:46:55','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignright\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 size-full\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"121\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\nPlanning a move is tasking; when it comes to those in the tween-teen years it is especially difficult.  At this age their social world and their place in it is of high importance.  It is important as a parent of a tween or teen to hold this in mind when moving or transitioning them to a new social world.  Here are some 4 tips to keep in mind:\r\n\r\n<strong>1. Give advance warning and information.</strong>\r\n\r\nIt may seem easier to hold off on telling the children about your upcoming move.  You may want to spare them the stress and worry.  However, last minute changes can be very difficult on the tween/teen.  They need to be able to process and understand how the world they know will be changing and predict what it will be like in the new place.   Allow time for dialogue and for questions, reassuring them that no question will be left unanswered (as long as an answer exists).\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on <a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/tips-for-moving-with-tweens-and-teens.html\" target=\"_blank\">Los Tweens</a>','Tips for Moving with Tweens and Teens','','inherit','open','open','','288-revision-v1','','','2014-07-02 22:46:55','2014-07-02 22:46:55','',288,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/288-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(294,3,'2014-07-21 19:26:31','2014-07-21 19:26:31','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA,\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/why-the-angry-outburst-is-necessary-for-your-tweenteen-to-mature/angry-teen1/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-296\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-296\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Angry-Teen1.jpg\" alt=\"Angry-Teen[1]\" width=\"228\" height=\"292\" /></a>“Whatever mom!” “You don’t understand.” “Get out of my room!  If you are the parent of a 12-24 year old these are common furious proclamations from your tween/teen.  How does a parent deal and learn how to handle this behavior? Most parents that end up in my office are at wit\'s end when it comes to the anger they experience from their children and the most common question is what to do.\r\n\r\nFirst, let\'s identify the main culprit of your child’s anger when it is directed towards you.  It is a myth that all of tween/teens behavior is tinged with “hormones” that make them act “crazy” and you have to survive this phase of life.  In his new book, <em>Brainstorm</em>, Dan Siegel explains that it is not simply hormones that are making your child act differently; also in play are the immense\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/parents-deal-tween-teen-anger.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 \" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"123\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Why the Angry Outburst is Necessary for Your Tween/Teen to Mature','','publish','open','open','','why-the-angry-outburst-is-necessary-for-your-tweenteen-to-mature','','','2014-07-21 19:26:31','2014-07-21 19:26:31','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=294',0,'post','',0),(297,3,'2014-07-21 19:25:03','2014-07-21 19:25:03','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA,\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=296\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-296\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-296\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Angry-Teen1.jpg\" alt=\"Angry-Teen[1]\" width=\"228\" height=\"292\" /></a>“Whatever mom!” “You don’t understand.” “Get out of my room!  If you are the parent of a 12-24 year old these are common furious proclamations from your tween/teen.  How does a parent deal and learn how to handle this behavior? Most parents that end up in my office are at wit\'s end when it comes to the anger they experience from their children and the most common question is what to do.\r\n\r\nFirst, let\'s identify the main culprit of your child’s anger when it is directed towards you.  It is a myth that all of tween/teens behavior is tinged with “hormones” that make them act “crazy” and you have to survive this phase of life.  In his new book, <em>Brainstorm</em>, Dan Siegel explains that it is not simply hormones that are making your child act differently; also in play are the immense\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/parents-deal-tween-teen-anger.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 \" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"123\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Why the Angry Outburst is Necessary for Your Tween/Teen to Mature','','inherit','open','open','','294-revision-v1','','','2014-07-21 19:25:03','2014-07-21 19:25:03','',294,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/294-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(295,3,'2014-07-21 19:19:38','2014-07-21 19:19:38','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA,\r\n\r\n“Whatever mom!” “You don’t understand.” “Get out of my room!  If you are the parent of a 12-24 year old these are common furious proclamations from your tween/teen.  How does a parent deal and learn how to handle this behavior? Most parents that end up in my office are at wit\'s end when it comes to the anger they experience from their children and the most common question is what to do.\r\n\r\nFirst, let\'s identify the main culprit of your child’s anger when it is directed towards you.  It is a myth that all of tween/teens behavior is tinged with “hormones” that make them act “crazy” and you have to survive this phase of life.  In his new book, <em>Brainstorm</em>, Dan Siegel explains that it is not simply hormones that are making your child act differently; also in play are the immense<!--more--> changes and remodeling of the adolescent\'s brain creating some of the behavior.  When it comes to anger towards you, their parent, it is an area of the brain called the limbic system that causes your child to want to disengage attachment with you and engage in attachment with their peers.  When it comes to anger in other situations, it is the constant and massive shifts in their neurology that create a heightened sense of emotion and impulsivity.  The task is to get away from seeing it as “crazy” and “disrespectful” and more as a new, amazing developmental shift from adolescent to adult.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nHere are a few tips on how to handle your child in the midst of an anger attack:\r\n<ol>\r\n	<li>Calmly label the anger. Say something like, “I see how angry you are, but please do not speak to me that way”</li>\r\n	<li>Describe the goal or speak to what you think they are feeling:  “I can tell that my curfew might make it so that you have to explain yourself to your friends and you may feel embarrassed.”</li>\r\n</ol>\r\n3. In the moment or later, allow time to hear and discuss their side of the situation and more often than not, find a way to come to a compromise.\r\n\r\nThese simple steps taken consistently with your tween/teen when angry or in any emotional situation helps them build self-soothing techniques, self-esteem, ways to debate and feel like they are seen by you.  Step number 3 is the most important, since following through and hearing each other out can help them become the adults they are moving towards and still maintain a line of communication.','Why the Angry Outburst is Necessary for Your Tween/Teen to Mature','','inherit','open','open','','294-revision-v1','','','2014-07-21 19:19:38','2014-07-21 19:19:38','',294,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/294-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(296,3,'2014-07-21 19:24:33','2014-07-21 19:24:33','','Angry-Teen[1]','','inherit','open','open','','angry-teen1','','','2014-07-21 19:24:33','2014-07-21 19:24:33','',294,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Angry-Teen1.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(298,3,'2014-07-21 19:26:31','2014-07-21 19:26:31','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA,\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/why-the-angry-outburst-is-necessary-for-your-tweenteen-to-mature/angry-teen1/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-296\"><img class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-296\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Angry-Teen1.jpg\" alt=\"Angry-Teen[1]\" width=\"228\" height=\"292\" /></a>“Whatever mom!” “You don’t understand.” “Get out of my room!  If you are the parent of a 12-24 year old these are common furious proclamations from your tween/teen.  How does a parent deal and learn how to handle this behavior? Most parents that end up in my office are at wit\'s end when it comes to the anger they experience from their children and the most common question is what to do.\r\n\r\nFirst, let\'s identify the main culprit of your child’s anger when it is directed towards you.  It is a myth that all of tween/teens behavior is tinged with “hormones” that make them act “crazy” and you have to survive this phase of life.  In his new book, <em>Brainstorm</em>, Dan Siegel explains that it is not simply hormones that are making your child act differently; also in play are the immense\r\n\r\nRead the rest of the blog on\r\n\r\n[caption id=\"attachment_289\" align=\"alignleft\" width=\"300\"]<a href=\"http://www.lostweens.com/parenting-advice/parents-deal-tween-teen-anger.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-289\"><img class=\"wp-image-289 \" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Los-Tweens-resized.png\" alt=\"AS SEEN ON \" width=\"300\" height=\"123\" /></a> AS SEEN ON[/caption]\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','Why the Angry Outburst is Necessary for Your Tween/Teen to Mature','','inherit','open','open','','294-revision-v1','','','2014-07-21 19:26:31','2014-07-21 19:26:31','',294,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/294-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(300,3,'2014-08-05 13:14:16','2014-08-05 13:14:16','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/why-your-soon-to-be-kindergartener-is-inconsolable-while-crying/kindergarten/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-301\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-301\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten-300x253.jpg\" alt=\"Kindergarten\" width=\"300\" height=\"253\" /></a>by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast year, as my son worked on his summer work for entering kindergarten, he announced that he was going to be creative and keep it for himself.  We explained that it would be okay if he was creative because he was exercising his imagination, but that he had to give it to the teacher when school started.  He began to cry uncontrollably stating that he wanted to keep it and didn\'t want to be asked why he was creative.  He worried that his new friends would not understand and continued to cry inconsolably for almost thirty minutes.  I understood that what was really happening was that he was afraid of the coming change.  Kindergarten is an overwhelming \"brand-new\", and he put all of his emotions into this one little piece of summer homework.\r\n\r\nLittle people are just like big people. In this moment my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  \"What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?\" In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to gently tell your child what you wish someone would tell you when you are about to embark on a major change.\r\n\r\nThat day I took the opportunity tell him about kindergarten, to tell him about starting something new, but most importantly to explain what it means to be brave.  Brave is not taking action without feeling fear. Brave is feeling scared, worried, excited, confused, and taking action anyway. Transitions and change make all of us uncertain.  It is important to hold and parent our children through them.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Join us for our Kindergarten Transitions Workshop This Coming Saturday. <a href=\"http://www.thenestmiami.com/page.cgi?p=registration&amp;eventID=294786010489\" target=\"_blank\"> RSVP here</a></em></p>','Why your Soon to be Kindergartener is Inconsolable ','','publish','open','open','','why-your-soon-to-be-kindergartener-is-inconsolable-while-crying','','','2014-08-05 13:17:56','2014-08-05 13:17:56','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=300',0,'post','',0),(301,3,'2014-08-05 13:10:12','2014-08-05 13:10:12','','Kindergarten','','inherit','open','open','','kindergarten','','','2014-08-05 13:10:12','2014-08-05 13:10:12','',300,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(303,3,'2014-08-05 13:14:16','2014-08-05 13:14:16','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=301\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-301\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-301\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten-300x253.jpg\" alt=\"Kindergarten\" width=\"300\" height=\"253\" /></a>by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast year, as my son worked on his summer work for entering kindergarten, he announced that he was going to be creative and keep it for himself.  We explained that it would be okay if he was creative because he was exercising his imagination, but that he had to give it to the teacher when school started.  He began to cry uncontrollably stating that he wanted to keep it and didn\'t want to be asked why he was creative.  He worried that his new friends would not understand and continued to cry inconsolably for almost thirty minutes.  I understood that what was really happening was that he was afraid of the coming change.  Kindergarten is an overwhelming \"brand-new\", and he put all of his emotions into this one little piece of summer homework.\r\n\r\nLittle people are just like big people. In this moment my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  \"What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?\" In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to gently tell your child what you wish someone would tell you when you are about to embark on a major change.\r\n\r\nThat day I took the opportunity tell him about kindergarten, to tell him about starting something new, but most importantly to explain what it means to be brave.  Brave is not taking action without feeling fear. Brave is feeling scared, worried, excited, confused, and taking action anyway. Transitions and change make all of us uncertain.  It is important to hold and parent our children through them.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Join us for our Kindergarten Transitions Workshop This Coming Saturday. <a href=\"http://www.thenestmiami.com/page.cgi?p=registration&amp;eventID=294786010489\" target=\"_blank\"> RSVP here</a></em></p>','Why your Soon to be Kindergartener is Inconsolable While Crying','','inherit','open','open','','300-revision-v1','','','2014-08-05 13:14:16','2014-08-05 13:14:16','',300,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/300-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(302,3,'2014-08-05 13:13:17','2014-08-05 13:13:17','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=301\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-301\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-301\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten-300x253.jpg\" alt=\"Kindergarten\" width=\"300\" height=\"253\" /></a>by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\nLast year, as my son worked on his summer work for entering kindergarten, he announced that he was going to be creative and keep it for himself.  We explained that it would be okay if he was creative because he was exercising his imagination, but that he had to give it to the teacher when school started.  He began to cry uncontrollably stating that he wanted to keep it and didn\'t want to be asked why he was creative.  He worried that his new friends would not understand and continued to cry inconsolably for almost thirty minutes.  I understood that what was really happening was that he was afraid of the coming change.  Kindergarten is an overwhelming \"brand-new\", and he put all of his emotions into this one little piece of summer homework.\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<span><span>Little people are just like big people. In this moment my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  \"What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?\" In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to gently tell your child what you wish someone would tell you when you are about to embark on a major change.  </span></span>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<span><span>That day I took the opportunity tell him about kindergarten, to tell him about starting something new, but most importantly to explain what it means to be brave.  Brave is not taking action without feeling fear. Brave is feeling scared, worried, excited, confused, and taking action anyway. Transitions and change make all of us uncertain.  It is important to hold and parent our children through them.   </span></span>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Join us for our Kindergarten Transitions Workshop This Coming Saturday. <a href=\"http://www.thenestmiami.com/page.cgi?p=registration&amp;eventID=294786010489\" target=\"_blank\"> RSVP here</a></em></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>','Why your Soon to be Kindergartener is Incosolable While Crying','','inherit','open','open','','300-revision-v1','','','2014-08-05 13:13:17','2014-08-05 13:13:17','',300,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/300-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(304,3,'2014-08-05 13:14:16','2014-08-05 13:14:16','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/why-your-soon-to-be-kindergartener-is-inconsolable-while-crying/kindergarten/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-301\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-301\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten-300x253.jpg\" alt=\"Kindergarten\" width=\"300\" height=\"253\" /></a>by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast year, as my son worked on his summer work for entering kindergarten, he announced that he was going to be creative and keep it for himself.  We explained that it would be okay if he was creative because he was exercising his imagination, but that he had to give it to the teacher when school started.  He began to cry uncontrollably stating that he wanted to keep it and didn\'t want to be asked why he was creative.  He worried that his new friends would not understand and continued to cry inconsolably for almost thirty minutes.  I understood that what was really happening was that he was afraid of the coming change.  Kindergarten is an overwhelming \"brand-new\", and he put all of his emotions into this one little piece of summer homework.\r\n\r\nLittle people are just like big people. In this moment my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  \"What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?\" In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to gently tell your child what you wish someone would tell you when you are about to embark on a major change.\r\n\r\nThat day I took the opportunity tell him about kindergarten, to tell him about starting something new, but most importantly to explain what it means to be brave.  Brave is not taking action without feeling fear. Brave is feeling scared, worried, excited, confused, and taking action anyway. Transitions and change make all of us uncertain.  It is important to hold and parent our children through them.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Join us for our Kindergarten Transitions Workshop This Coming Saturday. <a href=\"http://www.thenestmiami.com/page.cgi?p=registration&amp;eventID=294786010489\" target=\"_blank\"> RSVP here</a></em></p>','Why your Soon to be Kindergartener is Inconsolable While Crying','','inherit','open','open','','300-revision-v1','','','2014-08-05 13:14:16','2014-08-05 13:14:16','',300,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/300-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(305,3,'2014-08-05 13:14:41','2014-08-05 13:14:41','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=301\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-301\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-301\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten-300x253.jpg\" alt=\"Kindergarten\" width=\"300\" height=\"253\" /></a>by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\nLast year, as my son worked on his summer work for entering kindergarten, he announced that he was going to be creative and keep it for himself.  We explained that it would be okay if he was creative because he was exercising his imagination, but that he had to give it to the teacher when school started.  He began to cry uncontrollably stating that he wanted to keep it and didn\'t want to be asked why he was creative.  He worried that his new friends would not understand and continued to cry inconsolably for almost thirty minutes.  I understood that what was really happening was that he was afraid of the coming change.  Kindergarten is an overwhelming \"brand-new\", and he put all of his emotions into this one little piece of summer homework.\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\n<span><span>Little people are just like big people. In this moment my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  \"What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?\" In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to gently tell your child what you wish someone would tell you when you are about to embark on a major change.  </span></span>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\n<span><span>That day I took the opportunity tell him about kindergarten, to tell him about starting something new, but most importantly to explain what it means to be brave.  Brave is not taking action without feeling fear. Brave is feeling scared, worried, excited, confused, and taking action anyway. Transitions and change make all of us uncertain.  It is important to hold and parent our children through them.   </span></span>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"></p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Join us for our Kindergarten Transitions Workshop This Coming Saturday. <a href=\"http://www.thenestmiami.com/page.cgi?p=registration&amp;eventID=294786010489\" target=\"_blank\"> RSVP here</a></em></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>','Why your Soon to be Kindergartener is Incosolable While Crying','','inherit','open','open','','300-autosave-v1','','','2014-08-05 13:14:41','2014-08-05 13:14:41','',300,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/300-autosave-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(306,3,'2014-08-05 13:15:56','2014-08-05 13:15:56','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/why-your-soon-to-be-kindergartener-is-inconsolable-while-crying/kindergarten/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-301\"><img class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-301\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kindergarten-300x253.jpg\" alt=\"Kindergarten\" width=\"300\" height=\"253\" /></a>by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nLast year, as my son worked on his summer work for entering kindergarten, he announced that he was going to be creative and keep it for himself.  We explained that it would be okay if he was creative because he was exercising his imagination, but that he had to give it to the teacher when school started.  He began to cry uncontrollably stating that he wanted to keep it and didn\'t want to be asked why he was creative.  He worried that his new friends would not understand and continued to cry inconsolably for almost thirty minutes.  I understood that what was really happening was that he was afraid of the coming change.  Kindergarten is an overwhelming \"brand-new\", and he put all of his emotions into this one little piece of summer homework.\r\n\r\nLittle people are just like big people. In this moment my child was acting like a grown-up starting a new job.  He was experiencing a kindergarten version of adult concerns:  \"What are these people going to be like? Will I like my boss? Am I going to be able to do the work?\" In those moments it is important to take a moment and hold them and tell them that it is normal to be scared.  Take that opportunity to gently tell your child what you wish someone would tell you when you are about to embark on a major change.\r\n\r\nThat day I took the opportunity tell him about kindergarten, to tell him about starting something new, but most importantly to explain what it means to be brave.  Brave is not taking action without feeling fear. Brave is feeling scared, worried, excited, confused, and taking action anyway. Transitions and change make all of us uncertain.  It is important to hold and parent our children through them.\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Join us for our Kindergarten Transitions Workshop This Coming Saturday. <a href=\"http://www.thenestmiami.com/page.cgi?p=registration&amp;eventID=294786010489\" target=\"_blank\"> RSVP here</a></em></p>','Why your Soon to be Kindergartener is Inconsolable ','','inherit','open','open','','300-revision-v1','','','2014-08-05 13:15:56','2014-08-05 13:15:56','',300,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/300-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(309,3,'2014-09-04 21:09:29','2014-09-04 21:09:29','by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/my-hope-for-dade-county-school-system-and-high-stakes-testing/high-stakes-testing/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-310\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-310\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/High-Stakes-Testing-300x168.jpg\" alt=\"High Stakes Testing\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\" /></a>Midway through the third week of the public school year, parents are dealing with the pressure of “home learning” and hearing about mandated tests.   The Dade-County School board is also assessing and thinking this through.  The superintendent of schools wrote an opinion piece in the Miami Herald about the current debate on “high stakes testing”.  I enjoyed what he had to say and like his way of asking all of us to take multiple point of views into account.  However, he did not touch upon the piece that makes me get up in the morning to work 12 hour days, following my passion:  the necessity for our sons and daughters to have peace, growth and security in their emotional and social health.\r\n\r\nThe brain needs to be in a<!--more--> receptive state for optimal learning and to maintain the physiology of the person.  High stakes testing has created an atmosphere that induces a reactive state.  When the brain is reactive, it uses its primitive mechanisms to overcome that state.  Primitive responses turn on the \"danger\" response of flight, fight, freeze.  Too many teachers, preoccupied about whether test scores will result in a pink slip or a raise,  are anxious and in this danger/reactive response mode.  All children ages 0-17 take their cue of safety from the caregiver and at school the teacher is this secure base.  If the teacher is anxious, concerned and unavailable emotionally due to the strains and constraints of this system at our schools, the students become reactive, diminishing their ability to learn.  I have seen a 6-year-old gifted student with panic attacks (fight/flight).  I have seen teenagers with suicidal ideation (freeze) and substance use (flight/freeze) because they provide a way to deal with the work pressure and testing given at their schools.  My hope is that the district will take into account the mental and social health of their students.\r\n\r\nThere are signs of hope. There is an amazing movement in education to bring social emotional learning and mindfulness meditation to education. As parents we all need to be informed and ask our leaders to help our kids, and there are groups and organizations doing just that.  A good high school friend of mine is part of a Facebook group called  Opt-out Miami Dade County *  where you can find information and learn how to advocate for your children.   On the front of mindful meditation and education, the University of Miami will have a conference on Oct 8th ** bringing to the community their research.\r\n\r\nAt home let us take the advice of Superintendent Carvalho:\r\n\r\n“Assessment of students should serve the strict purpose of informing instruction, not simply provide a variable into a teacher’s performance evaluation formula, as is the case of the new state-mandated, district-designed end-of-course K-12 exams.”\r\n\r\nI urge all of us to inform ourselves and advocate for the emotional and social health of our children.\r\n\r\nCarvalho Miami Herald- Opinion posted 9/2/14 Read more here: <a href=\"http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/09/02/4323758/carvalho-common-sense-on-student.html#storylink=cpy\">http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/09/02/4323758/carvalho-common-sense-on-student.html#storylink=cpy</a>\r\n\r\n*  Opt Out Miami-Dade County (<a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/groups/OptOutMiamiDade/\">https://www.facebook.com/groups/OptOutMiamiDade/</a>)\r\n\r\n** University of Miami Mindfulness Conference(<a href=\"http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e9h4fpgg676c2e58&amp;llr=dkxnzblab\">http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e9h4fpgg676c2e58&amp;llr=dkxnzblab</a>).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','My Hope for Dade-County School System and High Stakes Testing','','publish','open','open','','my-hope-for-dade-county-school-system-and-high-stakes-testing','','','2014-09-04 21:09:29','2014-09-04 21:09:29','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=309',0,'post','',0),(310,3,'2014-09-04 21:04:30','2014-09-04 21:04:30','','High Stakes Testing','','inherit','open','open','','high-stakes-testing','','','2014-09-04 21:04:30','2014-09-04 21:04:30','',309,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/High-Stakes-Testing.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(311,3,'2014-09-04 21:09:29','2014-09-04 21:09:29','by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=310\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-310\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-310\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/High-Stakes-Testing-300x168.jpg\" alt=\"High Stakes Testing\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\" /></a>Midway through the third week of the public school year, parents are dealing with the pressure of “home learning” and hearing about mandated tests.   The Dade-County School board is also assessing and thinking this through.  The superintendent of schools wrote an opinion piece in the Miami Herald about the current debate on “high stakes testing”.  I enjoyed what he had to say and like his way of asking all of us to take multiple point of views into account.  However, he did not touch upon the piece that makes me get up in the morning to work 12 hour days, following my passion:  the necessity for our sons and daughters to have peace, growth and security in their emotional and social health.\r\n\r\nThe brain needs to be in a<!--more--> receptive state for optimal learning and to maintain the physiology of the person.  High stakes testing has created an atmosphere that induces a reactive state.  When the brain is reactive, it uses its primitive mechanisms to overcome that state.  Primitive responses turn on the \"danger\" response of flight, fight, freeze.  Too many teachers, preoccupied about whether test scores will result in a pink slip or a raise,  are anxious and in this danger/reactive response mode.  All children ages 0-17 take their cue of safety from the caregiver and at school the teacher is this secure base.  If the teacher is anxious, concerned and unavailable emotionally due to the strains and constraints of this system at our schools, the students become reactive, diminishing their ability to learn.  I have seen a 6-year-old gifted student with panic attacks (fight/flight).  I have seen teenagers with suicidal ideation (freeze) and substance use (flight/freeze) because they provide a way to deal with the work pressure and testing given at their schools.  My hope is that the district will take into account the mental and social health of their students.\r\n\r\nThere are signs of hope. There is an amazing movement in education to bring social emotional learning and mindfulness meditation to education. As parents we all need to be informed and ask our leaders to help our kids, and there are groups and organizations doing just that.  A good high school friend of mine is part of a Facebook group called  Opt-out Miami Dade County *  where you can find information and learn how to advocate for your children.   On the front of mindful meditation and education, the University of Miami will have a conference on Oct 8th ** bringing to the community their research.\r\n\r\nAt home let us take the advice of Superintendent Carvalho:\r\n\r\n“Assessment of students should serve the strict purpose of informing instruction, not simply provide a variable into a teacher’s performance evaluation formula, as is the case of the new state-mandated, district-designed end-of-course K-12 exams.”\r\n\r\nI urge all of us to inform ourselves and advocate for the emotional and social health of our children.\r\n\r\nCarvalho Miami Herald- Opinion posted 9/2/14 Read more here: <a href=\"http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/09/02/4323758/carvalho-common-sense-on-student.html#storylink=cpy\">http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/09/02/4323758/carvalho-common-sense-on-student.html#storylink=cpy</a>\r\n\r\n*  Opt Out Miami-Dade County (<a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/groups/OptOutMiamiDade/\">https://www.facebook.com/groups/OptOutMiamiDade/</a>)\r\n\r\n** University of Miami Mindfulness Conference(<a href=\"http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e9h4fpgg676c2e58&amp;llr=dkxnzblab\">http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e9h4fpgg676c2e58&amp;llr=dkxnzblab</a>).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','My Hope for Dade-County School System and High Stakes Testing','','inherit','open','open','','309-revision-v1','','','2014-09-04 21:09:29','2014-09-04 21:09:29','',309,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/309-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(312,3,'2014-09-04 21:09:29','2014-09-04 21:09:29','by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/my-hope-for-dade-county-school-system-and-high-stakes-testing/high-stakes-testing/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-310\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-310\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/High-Stakes-Testing-300x168.jpg\" alt=\"High Stakes Testing\" width=\"400\" height=\"224\" /></a>Midway through the third week of the public school year, parents are dealing with the pressure of “home learning” and hearing about mandated tests.   The Dade-County School board is also assessing and thinking this through.  The superintendent of schools wrote an opinion piece in the Miami Herald about the current debate on “high stakes testing”.  I enjoyed what he had to say and like his way of asking all of us to take multiple point of views into account.  However, he did not touch upon the piece that makes me get up in the morning to work 12 hour days, following my passion:  the necessity for our sons and daughters to have peace, growth and security in their emotional and social health.\r\n\r\nThe brain needs to be in a<!--more--> receptive state for optimal learning and to maintain the physiology of the person.  High stakes testing has created an atmosphere that induces a reactive state.  When the brain is reactive, it uses its primitive mechanisms to overcome that state.  Primitive responses turn on the \"danger\" response of flight, fight, freeze.  Too many teachers, preoccupied about whether test scores will result in a pink slip or a raise,  are anxious and in this danger/reactive response mode.  All children ages 0-17 take their cue of safety from the caregiver and at school the teacher is this secure base.  If the teacher is anxious, concerned and unavailable emotionally due to the strains and constraints of this system at our schools, the students become reactive, diminishing their ability to learn.  I have seen a 6-year-old gifted student with panic attacks (fight/flight).  I have seen teenagers with suicidal ideation (freeze) and substance use (flight/freeze) because they provide a way to deal with the work pressure and testing given at their schools.  My hope is that the district will take into account the mental and social health of their students.\r\n\r\nThere are signs of hope. There is an amazing movement in education to bring social emotional learning and mindfulness meditation to education. As parents we all need to be informed and ask our leaders to help our kids, and there are groups and organizations doing just that.  A good high school friend of mine is part of a Facebook group called  Opt-out Miami Dade County *  where you can find information and learn how to advocate for your children.   On the front of mindful meditation and education, the University of Miami will have a conference on Oct 8th ** bringing to the community their research.\r\n\r\nAt home let us take the advice of Superintendent Carvalho:\r\n\r\n“Assessment of students should serve the strict purpose of informing instruction, not simply provide a variable into a teacher’s performance evaluation formula, as is the case of the new state-mandated, district-designed end-of-course K-12 exams.”\r\n\r\nI urge all of us to inform ourselves and advocate for the emotional and social health of our children.\r\n\r\nCarvalho Miami Herald- Opinion posted 9/2/14 Read more here: <a href=\"http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/09/02/4323758/carvalho-common-sense-on-student.html#storylink=cpy\">http://www.miamiherald.com/2014/09/02/4323758/carvalho-common-sense-on-student.html#storylink=cpy</a>\r\n\r\n*  Opt Out Miami-Dade County (<a href=\"https://www.facebook.com/groups/OptOutMiamiDade/\">https://www.facebook.com/groups/OptOutMiamiDade/</a>)\r\n\r\n** University of Miami Mindfulness Conference(<a href=\"http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e9h4fpgg676c2e58&amp;llr=dkxnzblab\">http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e9h4fpgg676c2e58&amp;llr=dkxnzblab</a>).\r\n\r\n&nbsp;','My Hope for Dade-County School System and High Stakes Testing','','inherit','open','open','','309-revision-v1','','','2014-09-04 21:09:29','2014-09-04 21:09:29','',309,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/309-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(313,3,'2014-09-10 13:21:15','2014-09-10 13:21:15','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/a-way-for-parents-to-help-children-thrive/parent-is-born/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-314\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-314\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born-300x296.jpg\" alt=\"Parent is Born\" width=\"300\" height=\"296\" /></a>Parents can easily tell the story of the day their babies were born.  They speak of the anticipation and the planning, the awe they feel as they first meet their little one and the fear of being home alone with baby. What is often forgotten and/or ignored is the birth of the parent and the creation of a family.  Prior to baby, each parent was an individual and now baby asks for these individuals to become a dyad and a family.  It is important to embrace that as the child develops, so does the parent.   If a toddler is two, then that mommy is only a two-year-old mommy, learning, growing, and changing right along with her child.  This is the salient reason why it<!--more--> feels shaky and confusing.  In parenting you can never truly know how to respond without first experiencing the moment and understanding the child’s individuality, temperament, and development.\r\n\r\nChange has a way of making us feel out of sorts, and sometimes it turns on the “danger” mechanisms of our neurology asking us to engage in “fight, flight, or freeze”.  If parents can first evaluate their expectations and fears, and discover the values and ideals they wish the family to carry, while also understanding the quick shifts and turns of a baby’s development, then the ride can be less bumpy.   Multiple studies show that a baby often leads the parents into remembering their past, their family, the values passed on to them.  This process can be amazing, stressful or sometimes emotionally painful.  A child will thrive if the parent can make sense of where they come from and can then make choices on what to pass on and what to leave behind.  If these two aspects are clear, then taking a moment to discover where your child is in development can make the task of growing up into a parent a bit easier.\r\n\r\nTry to take a couple of minutes every night to remind yourself of all the things you did right and that will help to reduce the noise of the parenting how to’s and do’s and don’ts, and ease the intrinsic pressure of trying to be the perfect parent. But most importantly, give yourself a break, enjoy the ride, and honor the journey your child has just gotten you on.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Click <a href=\"http://thenestmiami.com/?p=events\" target=\"_blank\">here</a> to join our upcoming Couture Parenting groups where we will work on these exact tasks</em></p>\r\n&nbsp;','A Way for Parents to Help Children Thrive','','publish','open','open','','a-way-for-parents-to-help-children-thrive','','','2014-09-10 13:24:03','2014-09-10 13:24:03','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=313',0,'post','',0),(314,3,'2014-09-10 13:18:13','2014-09-10 13:18:13','','Parent is Born','','inherit','open','open','','parent-is-born','','','2014-09-10 13:18:13','2014-09-10 13:18:13','',313,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(315,3,'2014-09-10 13:19:35','2014-09-10 13:19:35','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=314\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-314\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-314\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born-300x296.jpg\" alt=\"Parent is Born\" width=\"300\" height=\"296\" /></a>Parents can easily tell the story of the day their babies were born.  They speak of the anticipation and the planning, the awe they feel as they first meet their little one and the fear of being home alone with baby. What is often forgotten and/or ignored is the birth of the parent and the creation of a family.  Prior to baby, each parent was an individual and now baby asks for these individuals to become a dyad and a family.  It is important to embrace that as the child develops, so does the parent.   If a toddler is two, then that mommy is only a two-year-old mommy, learning, growing, and changing right along with her child.  This is the salient reason why it<!--more--> feels shaky and confusing.  In parenting you can never truly know how to respond without first experiencing the moment and understanding the child’s individuality, temperament, and development.\r\n\r\nChange has a way of making us feel out of sorts, and sometimes it turns on the “danger” mechanisms of our neurology asking us to engage in “fight, flight, or freeze”.  If parents can first evaluate their expectations and fears, and discover the values and ideals they wish the family to carry, while also understanding the quick shifts and turns of a baby’s development, then the ride can be less bumpy.   Multiple studies show that a baby often leads the parents into remembering their past, their family, the values passed on to them.  This process can be amazing, stressful or sometimes emotionally painful.  A child will thrive if the parent can make sense of where they come from and can then make choices on what to pass on and what to leave behind.  If these two aspects are clear, then taking a moment to discover where your child is in development can make the task of growing up into a parent a bit easier.\r\n\r\nTry to take a couple of minutes every night to remind yourself of all the things you did right and that will help to reduce the noise of the parenting how to’s and do’s and don’ts, and ease the intrinsic pressure of trying to be the perfect parent. But most importantly, give yourself a break, enjoy the ride, and honor the journey your child has just gotten you on.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Click <a href=\"http://thenestmiami.com/?p=events\" target=\"_blank\">here</a> to join our upcoming Couture Parenting groups where we will work on these exact tasks</em></p>\r\n&nbsp;','A Way for Parents to Help Children Thrive','','inherit','open','open','','313-revision-v1','','','2014-09-10 13:19:35','2014-09-10 13:19:35','',313,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/313-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(316,3,'2014-09-10 13:21:15','2014-09-10 13:21:15','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/a-way-for-parents-to-help-children-thrive/parent-is-born/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-314\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-314\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born-300x296.jpg\" alt=\"Parent is Born\" width=\"300\" height=\"296\" /></a>Parents can easily tell the story of the day their babies were born.  They speak of the anticipation and the planning, the awe they feel as they first meet their little one and the fear of being home alone with baby. What is often forgotten and/or ignored is the birth of the parent and the creation of a family.  Prior to baby, each parent was an individual and now baby asks for these individuals to become a dyad and a family.  It is important to embrace that as the child develops, so does the parent.   If a toddler is two, then that mommy is only a two-year-old mommy, learning, growing, and changing right along with her child.  This is the salient reason why it<!--more--> feels shaky and confusing.  In parenting you can never truly know how to respond without first experiencing the moment and understanding the child’s individuality, temperament, and development.\r\n\r\nChange has a way of making us feel out of sorts, and sometimes it turns on the “danger” mechanisms of our neurology asking us to engage in “fight, flight, or freeze”.  If parents can first evaluate their expectations and fears, and discover the values and ideals they wish the family to carry, while also understanding the quick shifts and turns of a baby’s development, then the ride can be less bumpy.   Multiple studies show that a baby often leads the parents into remembering their past, their family, the values passed on to them.  This process can be amazing, stressful or sometimes emotionally painful.  A child will thrive if the parent can make sense of where they come from and can then make choices on what to pass on and what to leave behind.  If these two aspects are clear, then taking a moment to discover where your child is in development can make the task of growing up into a parent a bit easier.\r\n\r\nTry to take a couple of minutes every night to remind yourself of all the things you did right and that will help to reduce the noise of the parenting how to’s and do’s and don’ts, and ease the intrinsic pressure of trying to be the perfect parent. But most importantly, give yourself a break, enjoy the ride, and honor the journey your child has just gotten you on.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Click <a href=\"http://thenestmiami.com/?p=events\" target=\"_blank\">here</a> to join our upcoming Couture Parenting groups where we will work on these exact tasks</em></p>\r\n&nbsp;','A Way for Parents to Help Children Thrive','','inherit','open','open','','313-revision-v1','','','2014-09-10 13:21:15','2014-09-10 13:21:15','',313,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/313-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(317,3,'2014-09-10 13:24:03','2014-09-10 13:24:03','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=314\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-314\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-314\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born-300x296.jpg\" alt=\"Parent is Born\" width=\"300\" height=\"296\" /></a>Parents can easily tell the story of the day their babies were born.  They speak of the anticipation and the planning, the awe they feel as they first meet their little one and the fear of being home alone with baby. What is often forgotten and/or ignored is the birth of the parent and the creation of a family.  Prior to baby, each parent was an individual and now baby asks for these individuals to become a dyad and a family.  It is important to embrace that as the child develops, so does the parent.   If a toddler is two, then that mommy is only a two-year-old mommy, learning, growing, and changing right along with her child.  This is the salient reason why it<!--more--> feels shaky and confusing.  In parenting you can never truly know how to respond without first experiencing the moment and understanding the child’s individuality, temperament, and development.\r\n\r\nChange has a way of making us feel out of sorts, and sometimes it turns on the “danger” mechanisms of our neurology asking us to engage in “fight, flight, or freeze”.  If parents can first evaluate their expectations and fears, and discover the values and ideals they wish the family to carry, while also understanding the quick shifts and turns of a baby’s development, then the ride can be less bumpy.   Multiple studies show that a baby often leads the parents into remembering their past, their family, the values passed on to them.  This process can be amazing, stressful or sometimes emotionally painful.  A child will thrive if the parent can make sense of where they come from and can then make choices on what to pass on and what to leave behind.  If these two aspects are clear, then taking a moment to discover where your child is in development can make the task of growing up into a parent a bit easier.\r\n\r\nTry to take a couple of minutes every night to remind yourself of all the things you did right and that will help to reduce the noise of the parenting how to’s and do’s and don’ts, and ease the intrinsic pressure of trying to be the perfect parent. But most importantly, give yourself a break, enjoy the ride, and honor the journey your child has just gotten you on.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Click <a href=\"http://thenestmiami.com/?p=events\" target=\"_blank\">here</a> to join our upcoming Couture Parenting groups where we will work on these exact tasks</em></p>\r\n&nbsp;','A Way for Parents to Help Children Thrive','','inherit','open','open','','313-revision-v1','','','2014-09-10 13:24:03','2014-09-10 13:24:03','',313,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/313-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(318,3,'2014-09-10 13:24:03','2014-09-10 13:24:03','By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/a-way-for-parents-to-help-children-thrive/parent-is-born/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-314\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-314\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born-300x296.jpg\" alt=\"Parent is Born\" width=\"300\" height=\"296\" /></a>Parents can easily tell the story of the day their babies were born.  They speak of the anticipation and the planning, the awe they feel as they first meet their little one and the fear of being home alone with baby. What is often forgotten and/or ignored is the birth of the parent and the creation of a family.  Prior to baby, each parent was an individual and now baby asks for these individuals to become a dyad and a family.  It is important to embrace that as the child develops, so does the parent.   If a toddler is two, then that mommy is only a two-year-old mommy, learning, growing, and changing right along with her child.  This is the salient reason why it<!--more--> feels shaky and confusing.  In parenting you can never truly know how to respond without first experiencing the moment and understanding the child’s individuality, temperament, and development.\r\n\r\nChange has a way of making us feel out of sorts, and sometimes it turns on the “danger” mechanisms of our neurology asking us to engage in “fight, flight, or freeze”.  If parents can first evaluate their expectations and fears, and discover the values and ideals they wish the family to carry, while also understanding the quick shifts and turns of a baby’s development, then the ride can be less bumpy.   Multiple studies show that a baby often leads the parents into remembering their past, their family, the values passed on to them.  This process can be amazing, stressful or sometimes emotionally painful.  A child will thrive if the parent can make sense of where they come from and can then make choices on what to pass on and what to leave behind.  If these two aspects are clear, then taking a moment to discover where your child is in development can make the task of growing up into a parent a bit easier.\r\n\r\nTry to take a couple of minutes every night to remind yourself of all the things you did right and that will help to reduce the noise of the parenting how to’s and do’s and don’ts, and ease the intrinsic pressure of trying to be the perfect parent. But most importantly, give yourself a break, enjoy the ride, and honor the journey your child has just gotten you on.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em>Click <a href=\"http://thenestmiami.com/?p=events\" target=\"_blank\">here</a> to join our upcoming Couture Parenting groups where we will work on these exact tasks</em></p>\r\n&nbsp;','A Way for Parents to Help Children Thrive','','inherit','open','open','','313-revision-v1','','','2014-09-10 13:24:03','2014-09-10 13:24:03','',313,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/313-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(320,3,'2014-09-18 23:47:41','2014-09-18 23:47:41','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children/spanking-blog/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-323\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-323\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog-300x218.jpg\" alt=\"spanking blog\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" /></a>Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','publish','open','open','','what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children','','','2014-09-19 01:31:07','2014-09-19 01:31:07','',0,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?p=320',0,'post','',0),(321,3,'2014-09-18 23:47:11','2014-09-18 23:47:11','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-revision-v1','','','2014-09-18 23:47:11','2014-09-18 23:47:11','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(322,3,'2014-09-18 23:47:41','2014-09-18 23:47:41','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-revision-v1','','','2014-09-18 23:47:41','2014-09-18 23:47:41','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(323,3,'2014-09-18 23:48:34','2014-09-18 23:48:34','','spanking blog','','inherit','open','open','','spanking-blog','','','2014-09-18 23:48:34','2014-09-18 23:48:34','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog.jpg',0,'attachment','image/jpeg',0),(326,3,'2014-09-18 23:51:05','2014-09-18 23:51:05','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children/spanking-blog/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-323\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-323\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog-300x218.jpg\" alt=\"spanking blog\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" /></a>Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-revision-v1','','','2014-09-18 23:51:05','2014-09-18 23:51:05','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(324,3,'2014-09-18 23:48:49','2014-09-18 23:48:49','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children/spanking-blog/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-323\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-323\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog-300x218.jpg\" alt=\"spanking blog\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" /></a>Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-revision-v1','','','2014-09-18 23:48:49','2014-09-18 23:48:49','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(325,3,'2014-09-18 23:52:54','2014-09-18 23:52:54','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children/spanking-blog/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-323\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-323\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog-300x218.jpg\" alt=\"spanking blog\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" /></a>Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  </span></span></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-autosave-v1','','','2014-09-18 23:52:54','2014-09-18 23:52:54','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-autosave-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(327,3,'2014-09-18 23:57:27','2014-09-18 23:57:27','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children/spanking-blog/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-323\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-323\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog-300x218.jpg\" alt=\"spanking blog\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" /></a>Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-revision-v1','','','2014-09-18 23:57:27','2014-09-18 23:57:27','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(328,3,'2014-09-19 01:31:07','2014-09-19 01:31:07','<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\">by Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA</p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/what-spanking-may-be-teaching-your-children/spanking-blog/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-323\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-323\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/spanking-blog-300x218.jpg\" alt=\"spanking blog\" width=\"300\" height=\"218\" /></a>Spanking is a topic that can break a room in half in a matter of seconds.  For this exact reason I have been cautious, thoughtful, and patient about when I would approach it.  Last night I watched CNN as several talking heads spoke of Adrian Peterson, the Minnesota Vikings running back who is currently being investigated for beating his 4-year-old son with a switch.  The commentators brought up all sorts of reasons, judgments, and statistics.  Some I had never heard and two shocked me to the core:  70% of Americans approve of “a good hard spanking” and 94% of parents of children age 3-4 report spanking their children.  The time finally felt right for me to write what I know about spanking and what I call “fear based discipline.” </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">The statistics and multiple negative outcomes of children that are disciplined with corporal punishment are well known to those who work with children.  </span><a href=\"http://www.childtrends.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/51_Attitudes_Toward_Spanking.pdf\"><span style=\"color: #0000ff;\">Children’s Trends</span></a><span style=\"color: #000000;\">, a research group, found that corporal punishment increases negative outcomes in adolescence like low academic achievement, alcohol and drug use, antisocial behavior.  They also found that the older the age of the child, the greater the negative outcomes.  So why do 70% of parents in the United States believe in spanking?</span></span><!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I like to be practical and real.  The reason parents spank, scream, and threaten is because when you do, the change and response in the child is often immediate.  But what have you taught the child?  I have consulted with parents whose little ones are hitting their friends at school, to the parents’ distress. Then I ask, do you spank them?  Yes.   What does the child experience?  They learn that when someone is doing something wrong and you don’t like what they are doing you hit them.  Cut to the child at school and his friend takes his toy. He thinks I don’t like what you are doing and it is wrong so….he hits his friend.  This is the 4-year-old version of hitting.  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">A further problem with fear based discipline is that the child builds a tolerance to the punishment.  Instead of understanding that we do not climb the bookshelf because it can be dangerous, the 3-year-old now has a new goal of climbing the bookshelf without getting hit.  They will try and try until they meet their need of exploring the wonderful bookshelf that to him looks more like a fun ladder to climb.  The other problem with the child’s tolerance is that the parent has to continue to escalate their response to the child.  First you scream, then you have to scream and hit a table to make a loud sound, later you have to scream hit the table and grab the child and finally you end up hitting your 3-year-old child in full adult rage.  Fear based discipline–corporal punishment--puts you in the risk of escalating to a point where you may regret to what degree you hurt your child.</span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\"> </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">Parents often tell me.  I was hit with “the switch, la chancleta, the belt” and I’m okay.  Are you really? Do you remember what it was like to be hit?  Did you feel understood?  In the moment could you honestly trust and love your parent or where you feeling betrayed and hurt? If you think about it today, did you stop doing whatever you were doing because you understood why it should not be done or because you were afraid of losing your parent’s love and connection?  Most parents tell me they want their children to count on them and talk to them about everything.  Those of you who were hit, did you tell your parent everything or did you keep some things to yourself in fear of losing your connection and your love with your parent?  </span></span></p>\r\n<p style=\"margin: 0in 0in 0pt;\"><span style=\"font-family: \'Century Gothic\',\'sans-serif\'; font-size: 11pt;\"><span style=\"color: #000000;\">I think the one outcome of being hit by a parent or being disciplined with fear that many adults overlook is something I see in both my therapy clients and friends in my circle.  Many adults are out in the world uncertain about their decisions, wondering should I or shouldn’t I.  An inheritance of being told what to do and being scared into submitting to do what the caregiver tells you is a questioning of those answers that come innately from you.  Be honest with yourself and see if corporal punishment is truly for you and your children.  To me, if we can change this we can change a whole new generation of citizens for the better.</span></span></p>','What Spanking May Be Teaching Your Children','','inherit','open','open','','320-revision-v1','','','2014-09-19 01:31:07','2014-09-19 01:31:07','',320,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/320-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(340,3,'2014-10-30 21:27:11','2014-10-30 21:27:11','<blockquote style=\"color: #333333;\">\r\n<h2>As a therapist, I know that our society does not let boys and men have big feelings.</h2>\r\n-- originally published in <a href=\"http://goodmenproject.com/families/boys/megasahd-sensitive-son-place-world/\" target=\"_blank\">The Good Men Project</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=334\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-334\"><img class=\"alignright wp-image-334 size-medium\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/2014-10-15-09.09.32-e1414704143288-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"2014-10-15 09.09.32\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a></blockquote>\r\n<div style=\"border-left: 2px solid; padding-left: 15px; margin: 0px 15px 15px 20px; float: right; clear: both; width: 350px;\">\r\n<table border=\"0.5\" width=\"350\" cellpadding=\"0\" align=\"right\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; font-family: georgia; color: #307d7e; line-height: 125%;\">What I know as a therapist is that boys and men are not allowed by our society to have big feelings.  Actually the only feelings they are allowed to feel big are anger, guilt, lust, and sometimes love.</span></td>\r\n</tr>\r\n</tbody>\r\n</table>\r\n</div>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">His little arms wraps around my neck and he tells me he loves.  We tell each other that it is okay to have big feelings.  We are the pair in the family that can feel happiness at a ten and anger at a ten.<!--more--></p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">That day I had been at a ten in anger and screamed at his father in front of him.  I was taking the quiet moment in the evening to narrate what had happened, and as he walked away to get into his bed, I was grateful.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">He is six years old and has learned to accept his sensitivity and the lessons his emotions teach him.  At that moment I wondered, is that good or am I setting my son up for failure?  What I know as a therapist is that boys and men are not allowed by our society to have big feelings.  Actually the only feelings they are allowed to feel big are anger, guilt, lust, and sometimes love.  Love with measure so as not to be accused of being “wimpy”.  If I continue parenting my son to accept and honor his emotional states, he will reach a point in his social group where he will feel different.   So why do I parent him this way?</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">The first and most important reason is due to what I know and understand about neurology.  Our brain develops bottom to top, right to left.  Each of these areas has different tasks and objectives and for us to be able to use our brain to its full capacity it all has to integrate and work together.  Dr. Dan Siegel calls this “<a href=\"http://www.drdansiegel.com/about/mindsight/\" target=\"_blank\">mindsight</a>.”</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">If I ask my son to follow the norms of our society and neglect or ignore the information his feelings are giving him, then I am handicapping an aspect of his neurology.  He needs to be able to feel, tolerate, and recuperate from an emotion to achieve emotional intelligence.  Opting out or parenting away sadness so he can “be a man” only causes him to grow into a man that cannot feel, tolerate or recuperate from sadness, thus removing an aspect of his neurology that is needed for his brain to be fully integrated.  I would point out that some of what we see in the headlines recently in the NFL is a direct effect of asking a young boy to “be a man” and the accompanying injury to the full integration of their neurology.</p>\r\n\r\n<div style=\"border-left: 2px solid; padding-left: 15px; margin: 0px 15px 15px 20px; float: right; clear: both; width: 350px;\">\r\n<table border=\"0.5\" width=\"350\" cellpadding=\"0\" align=\"right\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; font-family: georgia; color: #307d7e; line-height: 125%;\">If I ask him to not feel big in an effort to conform to the norms of the society around him, then I ask him not to be authentic, to not be the person he was born to be.</span></td>\r\n</tr>\r\n</tbody>\r\n</table>\r\n</div>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">Most infant mental health experts know that infants are born with a particular temperament style.  Temperament is the way we understand and approach the world.  The nurses in the maternity ward are usually pretty adept at pinpointing if a baby is easy, slow to warm, or difficult (all labels of temperament).</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">My son’s temperament is easy, however his emotional response is high intensity, meaning that he has intense positive and negative reactions to his emotional state, as well as high sensitivity, which makes him sensitive to physical stimuli of sounds, taste, and other aspects of his senses. (<a href=\"http://www.ecmhc.org/temperament/02-introduction.html\">click here</a> to find your child’s temperament)  If I ask him to not feel big in an effort to conform to the norms of the society around him, then I ask him not to be authentic, to not be the person he was born to be.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">Finally, I know that feelings are not fact.  I did not make this phrase up and I’m uncertain who said it first, but it is so very true.  My son’s feelings and his expression of them do not make or break him.  My task as his mother is to help him choose the actions he will take once he feels disappointment with high intensity.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">He does pretty well most days and it has been a pretty difficult road for us as a family.  The first time I found society’s rule about how boys shouldn\'t be sensitive was from my son’s Kindergarten teacher.  She approached me surprised as she stated that my son had told her that he was a sensitive person and she should not ask him not to cry.  She told me this story with concern and a bit of judgment.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">But in that moment I was proud and I tend to hold that moment as proof that he may just be okay in the future when a friend calls him out on his sensitivity.  I am still unsure how it will all work out.  Society and cultural norms are pretty powerful and can become part of our psyche.  For now I will continue to accept my sensitive son.  My greatest wish is that all boys would be allowed to feel the full gamut of emotions and that we as a society stop asking them to only be strong.  I am certain it would change many aspects of what is violent, incomprehensible and disturbing in our culture today.  We were designed to feel all of our emotions, both men and women. Let’s stop negating them.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">---</p>','My Sensitive Son and His Place in the World','','inherit','open','open','','333-revision-v1','','','2014-10-30 21:27:11','2014-10-30 21:27:11','',333,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/333-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0),(336,3,'2014-10-30 21:24:27','2014-10-30 21:24:27','<blockquote style=\"color: #333333;\">\r\n<h2>As a therapist, I know that our society does not let boys and men have big feelings.</h2>\r\n-- originally published in <a href=\"http://goodmenproject.com/families/boys/megasahd-sensitive-son-place-world/\" target=\"_blank\">The Good Men Project</a>\r\n\r\n<a href=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=334\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-334\"><img class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-334\" src=\"http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/2014-10-15-09.09.32-e1414704143288-300x300.jpg\" alt=\"2014-10-15 09.09.32\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" /></a></blockquote>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\"><!--moremore--></p>\r\n\r\n<div style=\"border-left: 2px solid; padding-left: 15px; margin: 0px 15px 15px 20px; float: right; clear: both; width: 350px;\">\r\n<table border=\"0.5\" width=\"350\" cellpadding=\"0\" align=\"right\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; font-family: georgia; color: #307d7e; line-height: 125%;\">What I know as a therapist is that boys and men are not allowed by our society to have big feelings.  Actually the only feelings they are allowed to feel big are anger, guilt, lust, and sometimes love.</span></td>\r\n</tr>\r\n</tbody>\r\n</table>\r\n</div>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">His little arms wraps around my neck and he tells me he loves.  We tell each other that it is okay to have big feelings.  We are the pair in the family that can feel happiness at a ten and anger at a ten.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">That day I had been at a ten in anger and screamed at his father in front of him.  I was taking the quiet moment in the evening to narrate what had happened, and as he walked away to get into his bed, I was grateful.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">He is six years old and has learned to accept his sensitivity and the lessons his emotions teach him.  At that moment I wondered, is that good or am I setting my son up for failure?  What I know as a therapist is that boys and men are not allowed by our society to have big feelings.  Actually the only feelings they are allowed to feel big are anger, guilt, lust, and sometimes love.  Love with measure so as not to be accused of being “wimpy”.  If I continue parenting my son to accept and honor his emotional states, he will reach a point in his social group where he will feel different.   So why do I parent him this way?</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">The first and most important reason is due to what I know and understand about neurology.  Our brain develops bottom to top, right to left.  Each of these areas has different tasks and objectives and for us to be able to use our brain to its full capacity it all has to integrate and work together.  Dr. Dan Siegel calls this “<a href=\"http://www.drdansiegel.com/about/mindsight/\" target=\"_blank\">mindsight</a>.”</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">If I ask my son to follow the norms of our society and neglect or ignore the information his feelings are giving him, then I am handicapping an aspect of his neurology.  He needs to be able to feel, tolerate, and recuperate from an emotion to achieve emotional intelligence.  Opting out or parenting away sadness so he can “be a man” only causes him to grow into a man that cannot feel, tolerate or recuperate from sadness, thus removing an aspect of his neurology that is needed for his brain to be fully integrated.  I would point out that some of what we see in the headlines recently in the NFL is a direct effect of asking a young boy to “be a man” and the accompanying injury to the full integration of their neurology.</p>\r\n\r\n<div style=\"border-left: 2px solid; padding-left: 15px; margin: 0px 15px 15px 20px; float: right; clear: both; width: 350px;\">\r\n<table border=\"0.5\" width=\"350\" cellpadding=\"0\" align=\"right\">\r\n<tbody>\r\n<tr>\r\n<td style=\"color: #000000;\"><span style=\"font-size: 20px; font-family: georgia; color: #307d7e; line-height: 125%;\">If I ask him to not feel big in an effort to conform to the norms of the society around him, then I ask him not to be authentic, to not be the person he was born to be.</span></td>\r\n</tr>\r\n</tbody>\r\n</table>\r\n</div>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">Most infant mental health experts know that infants are born with a particular temperament style.  Temperament is the way we understand and approach the world.  The nurses in the maternity ward are usually pretty adept at pinpointing if a baby is easy, slow to warm, or difficult (all labels of temperament).</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">My son’s temperament is easy, however his emotional response is high intensity, meaning that he has intense positive and negative reactions to his emotional state, as well as high sensitivity, which makes him sensitive to physical stimuli of sounds, taste, and other aspects of his senses. (<a href=\"http://www.ecmhc.org/temperament/02-introduction.html\">click here</a> to find your child’s temperament)  If I ask him to not feel big in an effort to conform to the norms of the society around him, then I ask him not to be authentic, to not be the person he was born to be.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">Finally, I know that feelings are not fact.  I did not make this phrase up and I’m uncertain who said it first, but it is so very true.  My son’s feelings and his expression of them do not make or break him.  My task as his mother is to help him choose the actions he will take once he feels disappointment with high intensity.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">He does pretty well most days and it has been a pretty difficult road for us as a family.  The first time I found society’s rule about how boys shouldn\'t be sensitive was from my son’s Kindergarten teacher.  She approached me surprised as she stated that my son had told her that he was a sensitive person and she should not ask him not to cry.  She told me this story with concern and a bit of judgment.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">But in that moment I was proud and I tend to hold that moment as proof that he may just be okay in the future when a friend calls him out on his sensitivity.  I am still unsure how it will all work out.  Society and cultural norms are pretty powerful and can become part of our psyche.  For now I will continue to accept my sensitive son.  My greatest wish is that all boys would be allowed to feel the full gamut of emotions and that we as a society stop asking them to only be strong.  I am certain it would change many aspects of what is violent, incomprehensible and disturbing in our culture today.  We were designed to feel all of our emotions, both men and women. Let’s stop negating them.</p>\r\n<p style=\"color: #333333;\">---</p>','My Sensitive Son and His Place in the World','','inherit','open','open','','333-revision-v1','','','2014-10-30 21:24:27','2014-10-30 21:24:27','',333,'http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/333-revision-v1/',0,'revision','',0);

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--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_spidercalendar_calendar`
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INSERT INTO `wp_spidercalendar_calendar` VALUES (1,'Test','',0,'','2014','',1);

--
-- Table structure for table `wp_spidercalendar_event`
--

CREATE TABLE `wp_spidercalendar_event` (
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--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_spidercalendar_event`
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INSERT INTO `wp_spidercalendar_event` VALUES (1,1,'2014-05-12','0000-00-00','Test',0,'','test','','no_repeat','1','','','1','','','1',1);

--
-- Table structure for table `wp_spidercalendar_event_category`
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--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_spidercalendar_event_category`
--


--
-- Table structure for table `wp_spidercalendar_theme`
--

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--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_spidercalendar_theme`
--

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--
-- Table structure for table `wp_spidercalendar_widget_theme`
--

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--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_spidercalendar_widget_theme`
--

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--
-- Table structure for table `wp_term_relationships`
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--
-- Dumping data for table `wp_term_relationships`
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--
-- Table structure for table `wp_term_taxonomy`
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-- Dumping data for table `wp_term_taxonomy`
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--
-- Table structure for table `wp_terms`
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--
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-- Table structure for table `wp_users`
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-- Dumping data for table `wp_users`
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--
-- Dumping events for database 'thenest'
--

--
-- Dumping routines for database 'thenest'
--


