By Lina Acosta Sandaal, MA

<a href="http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/?attachment_id=314" rel="attachment wp-att-314"><img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-314" src="http://reflections.thenestmiami.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Parent-is-Born-300x296.jpg" alt="Parent is Born" width="300" height="296" /></a>Parents can easily tell the story of the day their babies were born.  They speak of the anticipation and the planning, the awe they feel as they first meet their little one and the fear of being home alone with baby. What is often forgotten and/or ignored is the birth of the parent and the creation of a family.  Prior to baby, each parent was an individual and now baby asks for these individuals to become a dyad and a family.  It is important to embrace that as the child develops, so does the parent.   If a toddler is two, then that mommy is only a two-year-old mommy, learning, growing, and changing right along with her child.  This is the salient reason why it<!--more--> feels shaky and confusing.  In parenting you can never truly know how to respond without first experiencing the moment and understanding the child’s individuality, temperament, and development.

Change has a way of making us feel out of sorts, and sometimes it turns on the “danger” mechanisms of our neurology asking us to engage in “fight, flight, or freeze”.  If parents can first evaluate their expectations and fears, and discover the values and ideals they wish the family to carry, while also understanding the quick shifts and turns of a baby’s development, then the ride can be less bumpy.   Multiple studies show that a baby often leads the parents into remembering their past, their family, the values passed on to them.  This process can be amazing, stressful or sometimes emotionally painful.  A child will thrive if the parent can make sense of where they come from and can then make choices on what to pass on and what to leave behind.  If these two aspects are clear, then taking a moment to discover where your child is in development can make the task of growing up into a parent a bit easier.

Try to take a couple of minutes every night to remind yourself of all the things you did right and that will help to reduce the noise of the parenting how to’s and do’s and don’ts, and ease the intrinsic pressure of trying to be the perfect parent. But most importantly, give yourself a break, enjoy the ride, and honor the journey your child has just gotten you on.

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<p style="text-align: center;"><em>Click <a href="http://thenestmiami.com/?p=events" target="_blank">here</a> to join our upcoming Couture Parenting groups where we will work on these exact tasks</em></p>
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